Almost Odd

With palms together,
Good Morning All,

Waking to rolling thunder and a wet breeze I am reminded of jungles and the scent of fear. Its odd how one thing recalls another, but I believe this is how our mind works; a sort of memory karmic action.

Yesterday I had occasion to meet an elder writer. At 98 she has come out with a memoir. She is a delightful woman and sat gracefully in a chair signing her book. I sat next to her for awhile. On my other shoulder was a man I had met elsewhere. A Vietnam combat vet, like myself, who still cannot sleep and still is haunted by decades old demons.

We talked.

Both people had memories, both said they wished some of their memories would disappear, yet one uses her memories to contextualize her life; the other finds memory a felonious intrusion.

As I sat between them, I remembered a return trip to Vietnam I took with my wife and some other Vietnam Vets some years ago. I recalled sitting at a long table in a dining room in some humid northern province. One side, an array of American Vietnam veterans; the other side, an array of North Vietnamese Army veterans. We traded shots, this time however, the shots were not metal, but rather cheap Russian vodka.

We shared stories and photographs, we laughed and cried. Just a mess of sloppy human beings discovering our ability to forgive and embrace. I noticed as I told this story, my veteran friend withdrew and responded with a slight degree of fear. I think it is this that so deeply separates us.

Today I sat in a beautiful living room with a group of talented writers, eating petifiores and sipping punch. Almost odd, but so distinctly human.

Fear is a clear hindrance in our mind. If allowed, it drives us into caves of darkness wherein every shadow is a killer. Yet I know it is possible to be like a small candle. Still, and serene illuminating without blazing, teaching ourselves that the monsters we fear are only ourselves in darkness.

Be well.

The Hard Work

With palms together,
Good Morning All,

Everything is as it is and should be. Oh my. What a statement. I hate this! I love that! I vow to cease doing evil. I vow to do good. Yet all are dharma, all are empty of substance, permanence and independence.

When we say good karma or bad karma, we are adding something to cause and effect, a moral judgment, Karma is not about good or bad. Karma is just the process of action.

The hard work is not becoming attached to either. I say hard because we usually understand attachment to mean something like sticking to something of value. To not stick is not to say we don't value. Nor does it mean that we cannot attempt to stop bad from happening. Its like that other sticky wicket word in our vocabulary, acceptance. Accepting and, its emotional action equivalent, 'letting go,' do not imply behavior, but rather refer to in attitudinal position we take relative to what is there before us.

Attachment really points to our contemporary understanding of emotional investment. The more we are emotionally invested in an outcome or object of our desire, the more we suffer as that object eludes or escapes us. Lower the emotional investment, lower the suffering. The object of our desire and our action to achieve it remains, but our suffering in relation to it ends. This is a very important point.

We can love, hate, and value without investing our being in the objects of these.

Accomplishing this is the true work of our practice.

Be well.

Bodhidharma Day

With palms together,
Good Morning All,

Today we celebrate Bodhidharma Day in Las Cruces by being in mindful practice at Zen Center. Bodhidharma was a simple monk who came from India to China in the late fifth century. He taught simply, but consistently, that zazen was the core of the Buddha's teaching. He was a pragmatic and experiential sort who lived in a cave and gazed at its wall. No fancy temples, no fancy clothes, just his body and a wall with a strong determinationed practice. We consider this man to be the First Zen Patriarch. All current Zen lineages call him parent.

If you are nearby Zen Center today and would like to sit in stillness for awhile, please feel free to join us.

Last night some friends gathered at a local ice cream stand:

Eating ice cream in the wind,

Chocolate drops on a field of blue;

The moon is bright in the sky.

Be well.

Holding On

With palms together,
Good Morning All,

We only see things as coming or going when we live as if we are the reference point. Zen practice enables us to realize this is not always so and, in fact, there is no reference point. With no self as a point of reference we are free. At that moment, coming and going cease, as do up and down, and most importantly, birth and death.

Our brain produces the ability to link things and events together. Yet in truth, things and events are not linked. They are discreet moments unto themselves. It is only our mind that puts them together as a pattern. While patterns can be delightful and meaningful in the everyday world of relative existence, they are illusions of our mind and should only be understood as mental tools. If we understand them to be truth, we are lost.

To be lost means to not be able to live directly as each thing presents itself. When we live in a pattern we are living in mental connection and so cannot appreciate things as it is; thusness.

So challenging for us as ordinary people. But when we practice zazen, we are not ordinary and we begin to see clearly perhaps for the first time. This is the frightening aspect of zazen. It demands that we let go of the post that holds us tethered. As we practice we begin to see the post, the tether, and that which is tethered as illusion, and not entirely there yet, we become frightened.

What will happen to me if I let go?


Be well.

Your Own Authority

With palms together,
Good Morning All,

Yesterday during an interview with a student, I tried to teach something about walking in ones own authority. This is such a challenging notion. It does not mean being full of oneself. Nor does it mean being a dictator. People who walk in their own authority are confident in themselves and as a result of that confidence have little real need for the signs and symbols of their authority.

When we make ourselves in the world, we should do so simply and directly. The plan and the activity of building should be seamless, as if they were what they are: one.

There is a spin on one of the Dharma seals, "shoho jisso", which means all things are themselves ultimate reality. This is another way of saying "it is what it is" and adding everything is truth.

When I open my eyes and take my breath, I express my true nature. As I pour my coffee, put on my clothes, walk my dogs, I express my true nature. No need to be anything, I am what I am. When we live this way we are living within our own authority. And this is important because it is authentic.

So many of us live in fear of the thoughts and judgments of both others and our inner self. Our choices are the result of an internal dialogue rather than a direct expression of our being. So, what is it, after all, that we fear? Why the chatter? Why the wobble?

If you are going to light that match, light it. If you are going to strike that bell, strike it. If you are disabled, be what you are. No need to hide or get permission to come out.

Our practice is simple, yet so challenging. To be upright on a cushion and live there directly in the moment. Once our mind thoroughly understands there is no threat, no problem. It releases its grip, lets go of the rudder and allows us to be what we are.

Be well.


Team Zen: two mile run/walk ; a chest and back weight workout.

When Dark Encounters Light

With palms together,
Good Morning All,

The recent horror of the killing of school children in Amish country has offered us a teaching on the darker side of dependant co-arising. We see immediately as it happens, the activities of people across the globe: bombings in the Middle East, shootings in Europe and America, starvation in Africa. We feel in response. We fantasize in response. We establish a point of view in response. So, when we go outside each day, this response is our understanding.We behave accordingly.

Communication can be a valuable tool. Interactivity can be a golden opportunity to depen our understanding. Yet each can also drive us into dispair and create chains of toxicity that enslave us to our more base emotions.

We must counterbalance these offerings from the communication network with other practices. We must practice deep listening. We must practice stillness. We must open ourselves to this pain so that none of us suffer. An open wound contains nothing in itself. An open wound can flow freely and clean itself. Close the wound prematurely and we capture toxicity, allowing it to hide and fester. The pain from a hidden wound can be surprisingly challenging.

So, this happens because that happens. When a bad thing happens, notice. Then open yourself to your feelings about it and let yourself flow some. Then offer yourself an opportunity to understand, contextualize, and grow from the experience. And in all of this, if you know that your purpose is to be inservice to others, your experience of the suffering of others offers you a starting point.

Be well.


Team Zen: run three miles

Something Simple

With palms together,
Good Afternoon All,

Today something simple. We have returned home and are settling in. The flights were easy and as always, I enjoyed people watching and reading, peppered with a little conversation with My Little Honey.

I had an opportunity on both the outward bound and inward bound flights to slowly read through some of one of my favorite books, Opening the Hand of Thought by Uchiyama-roshi. I will share some thoughts about the text with you in a bit.

For now, please enjoy this moment. Practice zazen earnestly and with the right attitude. Consider the infinite. Consider the finite. If, as Zen suggests, nothing is born and nothing dies, how do we distinguish these?

Be well.