With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
Today is a sunny day with a threat of rain sometime. It would seem there is always a threat of something if we listen to the news. I chose not to. Whatever is there is there: my life is to meet it as completely as possible. Although I did not sleep well, I still woke at four and listened to the stillness of the early morning.
My heart/mind is opening, but I sat Zazen early today troubled by my lack of sleep. Sitting quietly, my eyes felt heavy, and I was mindful of a deep desire to just fall asleep there on the cushion.
Let go, I say to myself. Just be present. An owl hoots. A cockroach asks to be invited in. I say no and invite him out. Another bird is warbling. I consider my day: Zazen at Veteran’s Park at ten, coffee at Barnes and Nobles’ afterwards. An open afternoon presents itself although I will likely visit the hospital and the nursing home.
And after that, nap and study time.
But just now, buttered cinnamon-sugar toast awaits my mouth. I am grateful indeed for the many hands and lives that bring such delicious foods to me!
Be well, y’all.
Organ Mountain Zen
Friday, April 16, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Sit Down and Shut Up
With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
There is a place of no suffering. It is a place where we live in complete freedom and complete responsibility, yet without fear, without pain, without loss. I touch this place on very sweet occasions. Rare, like the so sweet passing chill in the air on a hot summer’s day, it is not something that can stay with us. Unless. Unless.
Yesterday I felt very tired. The day before was quite long and exhausting. I left Torah study early, took a nap, and found that I had slept right through the first meeting of a new class I had looked forward to attending. Dokusan with Student Dai Shugyo was followed by another rest period, then off to do meditation at Temple Beth El.
Usually this is followed by yoga, but yesterday was different. The Social Action Committee had scheduled a meeting right in the middle of the class. Since I was invited to become the next chair of that committee, I attended.
After the committee meeting, I went home to meet with my Jisha, Soku Shin. We talked about our day and about me in relation to it. My Jisha helps me clarify; she is like a living kyosaku. What I am coming to address in my life is a repeated theme: how to deal with negative comments and views regarding myself.
Some people’s assessments of me can be quite hurtful and for years, I have had these assessments passed to me through my loved ones and friends. It always feels like a mystery to me as my view of myself is one that suggests I am a person who is nearly always kind, open and caring, willing to help, and willing to set aside self in service to others.
So, when I hear I am somehow not as good as I should be, that I hurt those I care about, and that those I am in relation to can ‘do better’, I am stunned, actually. I wish people could just say such things directly to me rather than go through my friends and loved ones. Such moments are serious teachers and I need to pay close attention to them. As a result, I feel the need to sit down and shut up.
So, for a while, I think I will.
Next week I am off to NY for a retreat with veterans and to visit with Claude Anshin. I look forward to it.
Be well.
Good Morning Everyone,
There is a place of no suffering. It is a place where we live in complete freedom and complete responsibility, yet without fear, without pain, without loss. I touch this place on very sweet occasions. Rare, like the so sweet passing chill in the air on a hot summer’s day, it is not something that can stay with us. Unless. Unless.
Yesterday I felt very tired. The day before was quite long and exhausting. I left Torah study early, took a nap, and found that I had slept right through the first meeting of a new class I had looked forward to attending. Dokusan with Student Dai Shugyo was followed by another rest period, then off to do meditation at Temple Beth El.
Usually this is followed by yoga, but yesterday was different. The Social Action Committee had scheduled a meeting right in the middle of the class. Since I was invited to become the next chair of that committee, I attended.
After the committee meeting, I went home to meet with my Jisha, Soku Shin. We talked about our day and about me in relation to it. My Jisha helps me clarify; she is like a living kyosaku. What I am coming to address in my life is a repeated theme: how to deal with negative comments and views regarding myself.
Some people’s assessments of me can be quite hurtful and for years, I have had these assessments passed to me through my loved ones and friends. It always feels like a mystery to me as my view of myself is one that suggests I am a person who is nearly always kind, open and caring, willing to help, and willing to set aside self in service to others.
So, when I hear I am somehow not as good as I should be, that I hurt those I care about, and that those I am in relation to can ‘do better’, I am stunned, actually. I wish people could just say such things directly to me rather than go through my friends and loved ones. Such moments are serious teachers and I need to pay close attention to them. As a result, I feel the need to sit down and shut up.
So, for a while, I think I will.
Next week I am off to NY for a retreat with veterans and to visit with Claude Anshin. I look forward to it.
Be well.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Ride On!
With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
This morning I am waking up to “kids” in my Zendo. Youthful medical students from all over are riding across America on their bicycles offering talks on health related issues. Temple Beth El is hosting them overnight on their way from San Diego to Washington, DC. Temple members divided up the group, offering our homes to them for the night. I have four and Zen Student Colette has four. Last night they enjoyed stories, some wine, and my community’s hot tub. This morning they will climb on their bikes and ride to El Paso where they will offer a talk.
Young doctors with great compassion: impressive. You may follow these athletes here:
http://www.rideforworldhealth.org/
May they enjoy a safe journey and continue to be a blessing in the universe.
Good Morning Everyone,
This morning I am waking up to “kids” in my Zendo. Youthful medical students from all over are riding across America on their bicycles offering talks on health related issues. Temple Beth El is hosting them overnight on their way from San Diego to Washington, DC. Temple members divided up the group, offering our homes to them for the night. I have four and Zen Student Colette has four. Last night they enjoyed stories, some wine, and my community’s hot tub. This morning they will climb on their bikes and ride to El Paso where they will offer a talk.
Young doctors with great compassion: impressive. You may follow these athletes here:
http://www.rideforworldhealth.org/
May they enjoy a safe journey and continue to be a blessing in the universe.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Days of Wonder
With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
Yesterday’s morning Zazen was particularly still. I had spent much of my early morning repairing a very old mokugyo that was damaged by someone using a drumstick on its surface. A mokugyo is a hollowed out wooden block made to look a bit like a fish with bulging eyes and is used to keep time in chanting. This one was scratched, pitted, and pitiful. For several days, I have been oiling it with lemon oil, as it was so dry it was like tinder.
Anyway, I took out fine sandpaper and sanded and sanded and sanded. Then I scraped out the red paint some prior owner had painted in its face and oiled some more. Time got away from me and I suddenly realized my samue (black work clothes) were full of sanding dust. I barely got to the park on time.
There is something about this particular mokugyo that has caught my heart. Maybe it is that it is just so pitiful, maybe because its small, or even that I traded it with the Both Sides/No Sides Zen community for the larger mokugyo I had in my Zendo. They had purchased the beat-up little gal off the Internet for about four dollars I understand.
.
Everything needs a home; everything needs love. I have grown fond of this mokugyo (I am naming, Harriet) because it is just my size and reminds me of myself. I am inviting Harriet to help me bring my body, speech, and mind together each morning as we chant: kan ji zai bo satsu gyo jin hannya hara mita ji sho ken go on kai ku do issai ku yaku…
In the afternoon, we visited two people, one a homeless man in the hospital for pneumonia. The other is an elder who craves company. He lives in a nursing home. With the former, we listened, with the latter we talked out under a tree and listened to birds and the flow of water from a fountain.
April 13, 2010
This morning, a new day, Clear Mind Zendo, in conjunction with Temple Beth El, will host 5 bicycle riders of a group of some 25 riders who are riding across America for World Health. I have several air mattresses and will make sure everything is in good shape for them.
Yesterday two benefactors offered very substantial donations to the Order of Clear Mind Zen. I am considering how best to use this money and believe a part should be used to purchase new zabutons and zafus. Purchase of student supplies should be next; things such as rakusu rings, jizu beads, and the like, since we offer these to students without charge. Yesterday we did purchase a small standing Buddha for Hannamatsuri ceremonies, as well as a wall hanging expressing a teaching of the Buddha, a small button that asks, “What would Buddha Do?” and a small “Co-Exist” window sticker The balance will be held in savings.
We are grateful for these and other recent offerings of dana. Surely we are beneficiaries of very generous hearts,
Be well.
Good Morning Everyone,
Yesterday’s morning Zazen was particularly still. I had spent much of my early morning repairing a very old mokugyo that was damaged by someone using a drumstick on its surface. A mokugyo is a hollowed out wooden block made to look a bit like a fish with bulging eyes and is used to keep time in chanting. This one was scratched, pitted, and pitiful. For several days, I have been oiling it with lemon oil, as it was so dry it was like tinder.
Anyway, I took out fine sandpaper and sanded and sanded and sanded. Then I scraped out the red paint some prior owner had painted in its face and oiled some more. Time got away from me and I suddenly realized my samue (black work clothes) were full of sanding dust. I barely got to the park on time.
There is something about this particular mokugyo that has caught my heart. Maybe it is that it is just so pitiful, maybe because its small, or even that I traded it with the Both Sides/No Sides Zen community for the larger mokugyo I had in my Zendo. They had purchased the beat-up little gal off the Internet for about four dollars I understand.
.
Everything needs a home; everything needs love. I have grown fond of this mokugyo (I am naming, Harriet) because it is just my size and reminds me of myself. I am inviting Harriet to help me bring my body, speech, and mind together each morning as we chant: kan ji zai bo satsu gyo jin hannya hara mita ji sho ken go on kai ku do issai ku yaku…
In the afternoon, we visited two people, one a homeless man in the hospital for pneumonia. The other is an elder who craves company. He lives in a nursing home. With the former, we listened, with the latter we talked out under a tree and listened to birds and the flow of water from a fountain.
April 13, 2010
This morning, a new day, Clear Mind Zendo, in conjunction with Temple Beth El, will host 5 bicycle riders of a group of some 25 riders who are riding across America for World Health. I have several air mattresses and will make sure everything is in good shape for them.
Yesterday two benefactors offered very substantial donations to the Order of Clear Mind Zen. I am considering how best to use this money and believe a part should be used to purchase new zabutons and zafus. Purchase of student supplies should be next; things such as rakusu rings, jizu beads, and the like, since we offer these to students without charge. Yesterday we did purchase a small standing Buddha for Hannamatsuri ceremonies, as well as a wall hanging expressing a teaching of the Buddha, a small button that asks, “What would Buddha Do?” and a small “Co-Exist” window sticker The balance will be held in savings.
We are grateful for these and other recent offerings of dana. Surely we are beneficiaries of very generous hearts,
Be well.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Weekly Update
With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
Waking at 3:30, I did what anyone would do, prepared the residence for the day. I made coffee, sorted change, put the clean dishes away, set up the altar, made toast, and ate. I am now here at the computer, seated n my room, and considering my day with you.
My Jisha (assistant) went through my weekly calendar yesterday on our way to El Paso. We were looking for ways to better organize my efforts, as well as to see just how thin I was getting pulled: not too bad, actually. In the end, a few things sorted themselves out. My task at this point is to put together a list of my aims and set them in a priority. I am working on this, but I can say these are the main categories: Zazen/Contemplative practice, Engaged practice, Teaching, Temple work, Order of Clear Mind Zen Administration, and Personal time.
The Juarez project has solidified. I will go there on the third Sunday of the month, offer assistance and a Teaching, and then return to Las Cruces in the afternoon. We have decided it is best for me to walk across “the bridge” into Mexico than drive. My students will meet me there and take me to the new center. This means it will be the third weekend of each month that I will also be in El Paso for the Both Sides/No Sides Zen Community.
I am also offering a weekly time for those interested in Zen to gather at my residence for an informal discussion of Zen, its practices, and teachings. I am scheduling this for late Friday afternoon from between 4:00 PM and 6:00 PM, weekly.
Lastly, donations to support these activities are always welcome. There is a donation link on this page. Thank you very much!
This week:
Daily zazen at Roshi's Zendo at 7:00 AM
Monday 10:00 AM Veteran's Park Zazen
Monday 4:00 PM Spirituality Discussion Group
Tuesday 11:00 AM Veteran's Park Zazen
Tuesday 4:00 PM Meditation and Yoga, Temple Beth El
Wednesday 5:00 PM Meditation and Yoga, Temple Beth El
Thursday 10:30 AM Zazen at Unity Church on Wyatt
Friday 10:00 AM Veteran's Park Zazen
Friday 4:00 PM Zen Discussion Group
Be well,
Good Morning Everyone,
Waking at 3:30, I did what anyone would do, prepared the residence for the day. I made coffee, sorted change, put the clean dishes away, set up the altar, made toast, and ate. I am now here at the computer, seated n my room, and considering my day with you.
My Jisha (assistant) went through my weekly calendar yesterday on our way to El Paso. We were looking for ways to better organize my efforts, as well as to see just how thin I was getting pulled: not too bad, actually. In the end, a few things sorted themselves out. My task at this point is to put together a list of my aims and set them in a priority. I am working on this, but I can say these are the main categories: Zazen/Contemplative practice, Engaged practice, Teaching, Temple work, Order of Clear Mind Zen Administration, and Personal time.
The Juarez project has solidified. I will go there on the third Sunday of the month, offer assistance and a Teaching, and then return to Las Cruces in the afternoon. We have decided it is best for me to walk across “the bridge” into Mexico than drive. My students will meet me there and take me to the new center. This means it will be the third weekend of each month that I will also be in El Paso for the Both Sides/No Sides Zen Community.
I am also offering a weekly time for those interested in Zen to gather at my residence for an informal discussion of Zen, its practices, and teachings. I am scheduling this for late Friday afternoon from between 4:00 PM and 6:00 PM, weekly.
Lastly, donations to support these activities are always welcome. There is a donation link on this page. Thank you very much!
This week:
Daily zazen at Roshi's Zendo at 7:00 AM
Monday 10:00 AM Veteran's Park Zazen
Monday 4:00 PM Spirituality Discussion Group
Tuesday 11:00 AM Veteran's Park Zazen
Tuesday 4:00 PM Meditation and Yoga, Temple Beth El
Wednesday 5:00 PM Meditation and Yoga, Temple Beth El
Thursday 10:30 AM Zazen at Unity Church on Wyatt
Friday 10:00 AM Veteran's Park Zazen
Friday 4:00 PM Zen Discussion Group
Be well,
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Busy-ness
With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
Yesterday I spent considerable time with my Teacher, Ken Hogaku McGuire-roshi. He made several suggestions about my residential Zendo, smacked me with his kyosaku a few times regarding my busy schedule, but most of all we talked about our practice. He thinks I overdo things and do not give myself the nurturance I need to continue to do my work. He is correct.
In a couple of weeks I will leave for the Omega Institute in New York state to participate in a retreat for veterans conducted by my friend Claude Anshin Thomas. Anshin amazes me. He was a door gunner on a Huey in Vietnam, survived being shot down several times and found himself in the lap of the Buddha decades later. I am going to practice with him, deepen my relationship with him, and learn from him.
May we all open to the teachings of those around us. The entire universe is our teacher and we are so often so busy that we fail to be present and miss its teachings. One day we open our eyes only to come face to face with the Infinite and look back with great sorrow.
Our lives must be lived, lived whole-heartedly, and without reservation. Invite the bell to ring.
Be well.
Today: Temple Services at 10:15, a noon talk on a unique Peace Camp, and at 3:00 PM a meeting in El Paso regarding creating a Juarez Zen Center.
Donations to the Order of Clear Mind Zen go to support our practice, help defray travel expenses, and help produce handouts to those who wish to receive them. Please consider making a small offering.
Good Morning Everyone,
Yesterday I spent considerable time with my Teacher, Ken Hogaku McGuire-roshi. He made several suggestions about my residential Zendo, smacked me with his kyosaku a few times regarding my busy schedule, but most of all we talked about our practice. He thinks I overdo things and do not give myself the nurturance I need to continue to do my work. He is correct.
In a couple of weeks I will leave for the Omega Institute in New York state to participate in a retreat for veterans conducted by my friend Claude Anshin Thomas. Anshin amazes me. He was a door gunner on a Huey in Vietnam, survived being shot down several times and found himself in the lap of the Buddha decades later. I am going to practice with him, deepen my relationship with him, and learn from him.
May we all open to the teachings of those around us. The entire universe is our teacher and we are so often so busy that we fail to be present and miss its teachings. One day we open our eyes only to come face to face with the Infinite and look back with great sorrow.
Our lives must be lived, lived whole-heartedly, and without reservation. Invite the bell to ring.
Be well.
Today: Temple Services at 10:15, a noon talk on a unique Peace Camp, and at 3:00 PM a meeting in El Paso regarding creating a Juarez Zen Center.
Donations to the Order of Clear Mind Zen go to support our practice, help defray travel expenses, and help produce handouts to those who wish to receive them. Please consider making a small offering.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
I Vow
With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
Today is another full day. Beginning at 7:00 AM Zazen (daily at my Residential Zendo) I have Breakfast with the Boys at 9:30, Zazen at Unity Church at 10:30, a Peace Celebration Planning Committee Meeting at 1:00, a Hospital Visit after that and a Hebrew class at TBE at 7:00 PM.
I enjoy days like this, days that seem to flow from one activity to another. Maybe it’s the flow, maybe it’s the variety of experience, or maybe it’s just the experience of being in service. It really does not matter, nor does it matter whether I enjoy them or not.
We do and then we feel. Our commitments are a higher priority and value than our feelings about our commitments or the experience of doing our commitments. Commitment arises from vow. In Zen, as we recite our Four Great Vows, we say “sei gon” which means a prayerful vow. This is something a bit more than a promise; it’s a commitment to practice a unity between two things that are, in essence, One: Self and Other. A Fearless Bodhisattva just does with a whole heart.
So “like,” “don’t like” are not really factors to consider regards doing. They are factors to consider in understanding ourselves. But that is different work and the subject of another time.
Be well.
Good Morning Everyone,
Today is another full day. Beginning at 7:00 AM Zazen (daily at my Residential Zendo) I have Breakfast with the Boys at 9:30, Zazen at Unity Church at 10:30, a Peace Celebration Planning Committee Meeting at 1:00, a Hospital Visit after that and a Hebrew class at TBE at 7:00 PM.
I enjoy days like this, days that seem to flow from one activity to another. Maybe it’s the flow, maybe it’s the variety of experience, or maybe it’s just the experience of being in service. It really does not matter, nor does it matter whether I enjoy them or not.
We do and then we feel. Our commitments are a higher priority and value than our feelings about our commitments or the experience of doing our commitments. Commitment arises from vow. In Zen, as we recite our Four Great Vows, we say “sei gon” which means a prayerful vow. This is something a bit more than a promise; it’s a commitment to practice a unity between two things that are, in essence, One: Self and Other. A Fearless Bodhisattva just does with a whole heart.
So “like,” “don’t like” are not really factors to consider regards doing. They are factors to consider in understanding ourselves. But that is different work and the subject of another time.
Be well.
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