Boundless and Bounded

With palms together,




Zen, what a marvelous, though thoroughly overused and, at the same time misunderstood, word. Zen. It has a stunning and sexy sound. It calls forth images of shaved headed monks in black robes, incense offerings, cross-legged sitting, and austerity: a high bar, although a distorted one. Of late, sex scandals, character, and questions regarding the power of zazen to maintain precepts seem to be in the forefront of those who practice. This practice is a challenge enough and so to have such questions can easily derail a person’s commitment to, and practice of, zazen.



What is Zen, and most importantly, zazen, its chief practice? Does it have any power? Is there a relationship between the practice of Zen and moral conduct? All of these are very worthy questions and all are very challenging to address and yet, impossible to answer. I think, superficially, we can describe zazen and even paint a picture of Zen itself, but in my opinion, such questions cannot be answered in the abstract through words, reason or rationality. Instead, they must be addressed individually for, and by, each of us as individuals in relation to each other. Lastly, the practice of zazen seems to open boundaries rather than close them and one possible consequence of this may be that Zen practitioners and Masters alike may violate precepts as part of a boundless perception of reality.



People often think of Zen as an individual practice. This is an obvious understanding of those at the beginning of their practice. Such a view remains in the realm of thought, not experience. It makes sense to think this way as we come to the cushion alone and leave the cushion alone even if there are a hundred other people in the room practicing with us. We are alone in the practice itself. As we continue, however, this understanding of practice becomes less and less meaningful. Over time we begin to see more clearly and with a wider eye. We see that Sangha supports us as we support Sangha. Our teacher supports us as we support our teacher. Such an interdependent understanding extends to the cushions, incense, bells and clappers. We begin to see that everything is interconnected and depends on everything else and at some point the boundaries between self and others fade and boundlessness arises. This is a dangerous place in our practice.



Boundlessness must also be bounded as the sutra says: form is emptiness and emptiness is form. It is on the first side of this formulation that people often get stuck. We get to the top of that hundred foot pole, we understand our “true nature,” but that is not enough: to realize it we must step off the pole and return to everyday life. One of the reasons people get stuck is that they see the Big Picture and it is wonderful, free, and eternally fresh. I imagine it’s sort of like getting to heaven and being seated under the throne of God, all lightness and light and such. Who would want to leave God? Bodhisattvas do.



Bodhisattvas come back from the desert: Gilgamesh did, the people Israel did, Jacob did, Jesus did, and Buddha did. Everyone who wrestles with themselves somewhere along the Way must resolve the struggle one way or another and step back into everyday life.



So, the question arises: what is our next step. Even more, how will we step? You see, it’s not just the step itself, but the way of the step, the direction of the step, the feel of the step, that counts. We are not done when we step off the pole: we are just beginning. This is where those other, pesky sorts of questions arise: Questions of character, moral discipline, and the like.



A boundless mind needs bounded practice. For myself, I know I need constant reminders of my limits. I need support in my practice. I am in constant need of the discipline honoring the precepts provides. And I am always in need of a wide perspective, while at the same time keeping my eye on the ball. Our lives depend on each other in tandem with our planet. None can survive without the great eternal web we call life. When we realize Zen as an every moment practice and allow what arises from each moment to guide us, our steps become more caring and compassionate and more, they become traceless.



Be well.

Life and Death

With palms together,




In her forward to Daido Loori’s “Eight Gates of Zen” Rev. Bonnie Myotai Treace quotes the text at the entrance to Zen Mountain Monastery: “I come here realizing the question of Life and Death is a vital matter…” And so it is. Yet, how many of us reach this important question before we actually face death? For me, that moment came on May 29th, 1966 when in a fierce firefight with the North Vietnamese Army I came face to face with death. That was almost 47 years ago and the moment has yet to leave me. On the contrary, it is part of my everyday experience.



It is odd to face death at 19 years old. I had shot and killed many men by that time, including I believe, one of our own. That night I both endured getting shot in the head and also the moral anguish of combat itself. Over the decades since, the questions regarding the morality of my behavior have haunted me. My cushion is not a refuge, but rather a gate to these questions. I approach it often with a degree of trepidation I am to this day uncomfortable with. Yet sit, I do. And there on the cushion arises memories so clear I can see the events of that night in full color, including the sounds and smells that go with them. I sit in a constant state of redirection: thought to breath, thought to breath, thought to breath. More often than not, the precept I took so many years ago against killing arises to haunt me with equal vigor.



Is there a difference between killing enemy soldiers and accidentally killing a friend? On the one hand, of course…enemy soldiers are out to kill me and a friend is not. Was I so afraid under the fire of a battalion of NVA regulars that my perception was distorted and so allowed me to fire at the three men scrambling for the safety of our perimeter? Does the confusion of night combat make it acceptable? I still don’t know.



What I know is this: life is precious, but then, so is death. The juxtaposition of these is a powerful teacher inviting us to live deeply and fully. Facing death, life becomes more real, more vivid, and certainly more precious. Yet, when we look deeply, starring into these, we find they are both real and unreal. Life and death is both a pair of concepts arising from delusion and literal moments we experience with our relative brains and bodies. Through our practice, they resolve into one and from one, nothing.



Our practice is to be, not to become. It is to live with an open eye, an eye which sees fully and comprehensively. We call this experienced open eye prajna. And the gate to it is the practice realization of Zazen. In prajna questions and their answers cease to exist and what remains is the precise moment we are alive.



Be well

A Simple Thing

With palms together,




Good Morning All,







Its about 30 degrees outside, maybe a degree or two cooler, and I’m preparing to do a ride as part of the Combat Veterans Motorcycle Association’s (CVMA) effort to support Rolling Thunder’s ride to the Truth or Consequences Veterans Home. I am our Chapter's chaplain and CMVA’s motto is “Vets Helping Vets.” This ride is to do just that. The veteran’s home is a nursing facility for veterans. I’ve been there before. When I was a practicing psychotherapist I often visited there to talk to vets housed there who were depressed and suffering from PTSD.



Nursing homes are lonely places in general, it seems to me, and sad places as well. One who takes up residence in a “home” is acknowledging either voluntarily or not, their end of life. It would be better if all of us could face that in the arms of a loving family, yet in our world today, this is often an impossibility. Or so we politely tell ourselves. For those in “homes” their truth can be a sense of abandonment to an institutionalized care. I’m certain that institutions mean well, but they are institutions and are sometimes faceless and predominately policy driven. Our ride this morning is to offset some of that and bring to veterans housed there a small degree of love. There is nothing that will bring a smile to a face than a visit from someone who cares. It’s a simple thing really.



Be well

Fitness Training

With palms together,


Good Morning Everyone,



This old body requires attention: a little background. Back in 1990 when I was 43, my step-son, Jason, told me I was getting a belly. It happened that he saw World Gym had a 2 for 1 membership sale. He thought it would be great if we joined together (of course Dad paid) and we could work-out together. So we did, join that is. After a week or two, son Jason could not seem to find the time to go. But I continued and after a couple of months of 3 times per week full body workouts, pressed on to a split routine working two body parts per day, then eventually went to a double split routine going to the gym twice a day working one body part in the morning and another in the evening. I went from 143 lbs to 175 lbs of muscle mass within a year. In 1994 we moved to New Mexico. I built a gym in our garage and continued my workouts.



Attention to diet, adding an aerobic workout, and beginning meditation in a serious way, led to a leaner body still. I got it in my head that I wanted to run a full marathon having never run a step. In 2002 I began a marathon training program and in 2003 ran the Las Vegas Marathon. Running replaced heavy weight workouts and distance running became a passion. In 2005 I ran a half marathon every two months for the entire year. This effort ended with my first---and only--- DNF (Did Not Finish) when I attempted to run a second half in Cleveland a week after running the McMinville Half in Tennessee. I resolved then to back off a bit. Backing off eventually led to shorter and shorter runs. When we moved to the Refuge in the mountains I sold nearly all of my gym equipment. Running less and less my body went south and eventually led to back problems, deteriorating ability to walk (let alone run), and the dwindling away of that muscle mass I had worked so hard to gain.



In 2012, I endured the worst pain in my life due to lumbar spinal stenosis and increased arthritis in my spinal column and left shoulder. Once again my body required attention. Kathryn coaxed me into beginning a weight training program a few months ago and we bought a circuit machine to add to the dumbbells and incline bench I still had as leftovers from years ago. We began getting fit, then that stenosis showed up in a fury. All training stopped as I was not able to stand for more than a few seconds at a time. A few spinal procedures, a couple of months of physical therapy, lots of massage from Cloud, and I am now essentially pain free.



So, here we are in 2013. We decided to join Planet Fitness together. After a week of going every morning I have found my muscles responding...muscle memory is a wonderful thing...and this week began a double split routine. Monday and Thursday I train Arms in the morning and Shoulders in the evening. Tuesday and Friday I train Chest in the morning and Back in the evening, Wednesday and Saturday I train Legs in the morning. Each workout includes an Abs workout, as well. At the end of each workout I do a few minutes on the treadmill or that killer stair machine called "K2." I have been walking with an eye toward doing the short course of the Bataan Death March in mid-March this year.



If anyone would like to walk the 14 miles of Bataan in March with me, please let me know...I'd be more than happy to have your company!



Be well.

Refuge

With palms together,


Good Morning All,



Someone asked if I might one day address the relationship between the teachings of the Four Noble Truths, the Six Paramitas, and the 16 Precepts. At first blush this sounds like a very tall order and, I suppose if I were to go through the developmental history of each, it would be. Yet, I don’t think it is history that this student wants, but rather a teaching on the spiritual relationship of these.



From my perspective, these teachings are one and they arise from the first of the Three Treasures, buddha. Please notice that I did not capitalize this treasure as it is not the person of “the Buddha” that I am referring to, but rather, the true treasure, the state of being awake. When awake we see the universe in a wholly different way. The Absolute and the Relative are one, yet two, simultaneously. We experience the deep, interconnected and interdependent nature of the universe. We experience without a “we” at all. The ability to see in this way gives rise to a clear understanding of the Four Noble Truths in which we are able to “see” that dualistic living gives rise to suffering. The Buddha taught us to loosen our grip of attachment to things and as a result of that loosened grip the Middle Way we call the Noble Eightfold Path arises.



From a buddha heart the whole universe in the ten directions and three times are one. We should consider this: If all is one, there can be no “two.” If no “two” what does this do to our notions of interpersonal relations? Can “All is One” kill? Killing, lying, stealing, etc., all require a dualistic view. They require us to separate ourselves from each other and without this separation; actions such as killing make no sense. Yet, we cannot live entirely in the Absolute world. We are relative beings requiring food, clothing, and shelter, as well as a sense of safety, belongingness, and so forth. So, the question is, “how do we live in such a world and remain moral beings?” The Buddha’s answer was the Eightfold Noble Path, a middle way, a way between extremes.



From our buddha-nature, that place of oneness, the gates to oneness are revealed: these gates are the paramitas, the bridges that bodhisattvas manifest in the world. Generosity, morality, patience, etc., are manifest without separation. We just give, we just manifest morality, and we just enact patience, as we interact with others in the relative world. In other words, we behave as relative beings with a selfless Absolute heart/mind. But how? What does this entail?



To help us, the ancients derived a final gate, what we refer to as our precepts, including the Four Great Vows and the Sixteen Precepts. The Four Great Vows are global commitments to being a Bodhisattva; to free all beings, to end delusion, to enter Dharma gates, and to follow the Buddha Way. The Sixteen Precepts give us the details: Be awake, be a student, be a community, cease doing bad things, do good, bring about good for others, cease killing, stealing, cease using sex to harm, cease lying, cease clouding our minds, cease gossiping, cease raising ourselves at other’s expense, cease allowing ourselves to give way to anger, cease being stingy, and cease speaking ill of the three treasures. Each of these is a koan in its own right as each requires dualistic thinking. Our key is in the very first of the Sixteen Precepts: take refuge in buddha.



Be well

Notes Regards the Order

With palms together,


Good Morning All,



In a meeting with a student this week, we discussed several issues related to the practice of Zazen in the Zendo, the role of teacher and student relations, and commitment to practice in the Sangha. If became evident that we should offer reminders from time to time about a few things.

Before I address these, please keep in mind, our Zendo is a training facility of the Order of Clear Mind Zen. We are established to practice Zazen in the Zendo, practice Engaged Zen in community, and train students to become Lay Priests or Dharma Teachers in our Order. Those who are Novitiate Priests and Full Priest are expected to manifest their priesthood in their communities through some sort of Engaged Practice or through the establishment of a Sitting Group in their area.

Regards the Zendo: First, it is important to arrive about 15 minutes prior to the clapping of the han. When we arrive just before the bells that begin, it is disruptive to the serenity of the Zendo. It is important to wear dark, if not black, clothing, unless you are a Dharma Teacher (in which case, you would wear white). Talking should be reserved to the foyer or kitchen (and then, in a low voice). During Intensives there is no talking.

Next, in spite of the generally relaxed nature of our Sangha, a teacher-student relationship is a formal relationship. It is not a friendship, although a teacher and student may become friends, in terms of the Zen relationship, it is formal. Conversations of a teaching nature are always formal. Gassho and bow is expected. Your feelings regarding how a teacher addresses you should be grist for the mill of your practice. If you do not have a teacher and want to establish a teaching relationship, you must bow and ask formally to become a student. The prospective teacher will ask you to make an appointment for a private interview or he or she may not answer right away…again, practice with this.

Lastly, serious Zen students, that is, those with a teacher, are asked to demonstrate their commitment to the Order by attending as much as possible the practice opportunities provided. This means participating in weekly services, classes, and so forth. Attendance at Zazenkai and Sesshin is expected. As we often say, Zen as practiced in our Order is not for everyone. Yet, everyone will benefit from the practiced discipline that regular practice provides.

I hope this helps!

THIS WEEK: This week at Clear Mind Zen Temple we will practice Zazen on Thursday Evening at 7:00 PM, offer Study Group at 7:00 PM, and offer Zazenkai on Saturday from 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM. If you would like to reserve a seat for Zazenkai, please let me or Rev. Kathryn Shukke Shin know as soon as possible. We ask for a $15.00 donation.

Be well

When It's Dark

With palms together,


Good Morning All,



It is the day after Christmas and as I read through the religion section of the Huffington Post I was struck by the number of posts addressing gun violence and war.. It is clear to me that we live in a violent world and, it would seem that religion is going through some soul searching, as well it should. But it is also clear to me that we live in a loving world, a world that cares that there is violence, cares for those who suffer, and cares that the suffering has not stopped. Stories of heroic teachers, firefighters willing to risk their lives for others, and so on, support this. One post written by a rabbi was particularly interesting in that it took to task those who would claim God was punishing humanity for its fall into moral neutrality if not downright moral fall. He argued we should question God and ourselves regards the continued suffering of humanity. I agree, not so much on the challenging of God, but more on our need to challenge ourselves, as it is we ourselves who bring suffering into the world.



Our world is not a moral agent. If our world were theatre, it would be the stage upon which we act out the play, be it tragedy or comedy. We make ourselves in this play, writing our own parts to play. How will we act today? Will we manifest our precepts and allow our six perfections to come forth? Through not killing, lying, harming each other with our bodies, stealing, intoxicating, gossiping, slandering, giving way to anger, not being greedy, and not denying our true nature, its teachings and our society our perfections of generosity, morality, patience, vigor, meditation, and wisdom arise. Years ago, in a textbook I co-edited, my Social Work mentor, Howard Goldstein, framed these as “the person of principle” and I saw them as manifestations of “the person of spirit.” Today I fail to discriminate between the two. Principle is the frame through which our spirit shows itself.



These are always in conflict as we cannot follow the precept against killing, for example, without the potential for the necessity of killing to arise. How do we support life in the face of those who would take life? Of course we should exhaust all possible and reasonable methods to stop others from killing, but in the event these fail we cannot put our heads in the sand hoping the killing will stop.



What we can do is manifest our willingness to reason, our willingness to care, and our willingness to understand and love those who would harm us and others. The true message of the darkest part of the year is in the fact that we can light a candle and bring light into the world. We can do this in spite of the fact that it is, indeed, dark outside. For Zen Buddhists this candle is our precepts and the light is our perfections. May we each offer the light of our candle today.