War, not!

With Palms together,


Good Morning Everyone,



This morning I will ride with my combat veterans brothers and sisters to a funeral for a fallen combat brother who died in Afghanistan. I am sick of the killing resulting from war. Do we even know what this man died for? I doubt it. If we ask any random American citizen what we are fighting for in that part of the world they either wouldn’t know, wouldn’t care, or would offer some lame reason such as “to fight terrorism.” I am unconvinced that this is an adequate answer for the cost in lives and dollars at a time when we in the United States are in desperate need of financial recovery and when we have so many facing homelessness, poverty, and lack of health care.



What I really don’t understand is why we, the people, haven’t coalesced to demand of our president and our congress to end this nightmare. Yet, frankly, when I look more deeply at the issue, I see that this war doesn’t really touch those in a position to put real pressure on the government to call a halt to it. The soldiers fighting are volunteers. They, like me, often come from poverty stricken families where young men and women see military service as a means of getting out from under a life on the streets. They come from families that cannot afford to educate their children and see service as a means to fund college. These are not people with a political leg to stand on. These are invisible people from invisible classes. We are fortunate enough to have a choice and are relieved that other’s sons and daughters join the service so we don’t have to.



The conservative side of our nation is often the first to rattle sabers and send us off to war to defend our nation and they are also the first to want to withdraw funding from support services once the soldiers return. War is a costly endeavor. We want a strong defense; support our war chest, but not a hope chest. We fail our service men and women. One result is a flood of homeless veterans and families.



On the street and on college campuses, I see little desire to challenge our government demanding an end to this nonsense. It is sad that in our city a lonely group of three or four souls stand in protest of these wars at the federal building once a week. I believe that if we had a draft the story would be very different. When the middle and upper classes are asked to give up their children to fight a war I think they just might resist. I see no real effort to re-institute the draft however, so we are left with trying our best to inspire people to say no for other reasons, perhaps better reasons. These wars were started on false information, benefited only the military-industrial complex, are now economically unhealthy, are morally wrong, and a waste of lives.



Please consider practicing Engaged Zen by bearing witness for peace in your city or neighborhood. It takes little time and effort and calls attention to our moral conscience. Here in Las Cruces we practice on Monday afternoons at 4:30 PM at the park in front of City Hall on Main Street, at 5:00 PM at the Federal Building on Wednesdays, and at 9:00 AM at Veteran’s Park on Roadrunner of Fridays. We welcome you to join us.



Be well

Shukke: another perspective

With Palms together,




Good Morning Everyone,







Zen found its birth with the posture of the Buddha 2600 years ago. He taught us to sit upright and, as a result, we might live upright. For me, living upright means living steadfast and living in peacefully in the moment as it is. I am not always successful, but then, unlike the Buddha, I am living as a householder and not surrounded by those practicing the Buddha Way.







In Master Dogen’s Shobogenzo, he makes the case in two fascicles (Shukke and Shukke-kudoku) that to leave home is the best and only way, to attain the Way. Perhaps. I have always been suspect of this point of view. It seems to me, home-leaving and surrounding oneself with practitioners is the easiest way, but not the only way.







In Shukke Kodoku he takes issue with Nagarjuna who stated that lay persons who take the precepts are able to attain not only the bodhisattva way, but also nirvana itself, Nagarjuna asks, why it is necessary to leave family life. Dogen replies, “Clearly, from ancient times until today, living beings who lack the merit of leaving family life have been forever unable to attain the buddha-sate of bodhi.” In both fascicles Dogen argues for leaving home in this way. He clearly believes leaving family life has merit. I say, not so fast.







I contend home-leaving may be understood in many ways. While it is true that when we are householders we easily develop habits associated with the culture in which we live and while we are exposed to the trials and tribulations of friends and family, media, noise, and in some cases, chaos, it is equally true that these may become, in themselves, fertile ground for our practice. Zen is nothing if it is not an everyday practice. Leaving home may then understood as a leaving behind or dropping away of our assumptions and thoughts about what we believe we know: a choice to step out and away from our assumptions and everyday habits so that in doing so our practice becomes an opportunity to see the everyday with fresh eyes, eyes that are open.







Secluding oneself as I did for three years does this as well. In seclusion we are forced by a lack of civilized distraction, to rely on ourselves in the moment. When I lived off the grid and had no electrical power, I had to chop wood every day in order to start a fire in my wood cook stove each morning in order to cook breakfast and make coffee or tea. The feel of the wood, its smell and texture, became something very important. The feel of the maul in my hands as I cast it above my head in order to thrust it down on a fresh round of cedar was all there was. It was a necessity to pay attention.







There was a qualitative difference between chopping wood and starting a fire in the firebox on the one hand, and pressing a button on a microwave in order to re-heat a cup of left over coffee in the morning here in my house on the other hand. Yet, for pressing a button and feeling the microwave do what it does, watching the table inside turn to become practice, requires a deliberate concentration on the task itself. It is this choice to pay attention in a civilized world that becomes a practice point.







In one case we must pay attention or risk injury, in the other case, we pay attention by choice. We leave home in both cases one requiring little choice because we must pay attention, the other requiring deliberation for the sake of itself. It is this paying attention for the sake of itself that I suggest is why remaining a householder while practicing Zen is both more difficult and more authentic than retreating from the world by entering a monastery. In seclusion it is necessary to pay attention while at home it is hard work requiring deliberate effort and choice to leave home while at home. The world itself becomes our cushion.







Be well.

Sesshin and Takuhatsu

With Palms together,


Good Morning Everyone,



The ride home from Austin was tough. I rode the 650.4 miles in one day. It was cold in the morning and hot in the afternoon. My butt was quite sore, but I think I am, at this point, what biker’s call, an “Iron Butt.” Anyway, I am happy to be at home and ready to begin sesshin tomorrow evening.



Hannamatsuri is a very special time. We celebrate the birth of the Buddha by recounting the story, offering flowers and sweet tea, and practicing zazen diligently. We will open sesshin Wednesday evening at 7:00 PM. I look forward to seeing you in the Zendo.



Lastly, it is time to ask for donations and dana. Please honor your pledges to maintain the Zendo. You may donate through our paypal button on our website at http://clearmindzen.org or send a check to: The Order of Clear Mind Zen, 642 South Alameda Blvd., Suite E, Las Cruces, NM 88005.



Thank you very much and Gassho.

Morning Musings

With Palms together,


Good Morning Everyone,



Morning comes in silence. As the occasional car passes, it’s like a streamer of sound, a wisp through the morning light. Even the pups remain asleep. So, why am I awake at 4:30 in the morning? Why ask why, I answer myself.

A painting is calling me to it. The courtyard seems to await my presence. The bed feels as though it is throwing me out. With all of that, I have little choice but to get up and do.

Outside, I sit quietly just being there in the cold air. My robe barely fends off the chill. Yet, the sky and ground are my home and the air, whatever its temperature, is me.

Inside, I pick up a brush, squeeze out some paint, and throw it on my canvas. It’s a painting of a fearless bodhisattva, it feels fierce to me and I’m almost afraid of it. Yet, there I am, Dharma combat, perhaps? I don’t know. And I try to remain as ignorant as possible. Knowing is a dis-ease of the mind and becomes an obstacle to seeing clearly.

Today I vow to live without violence. It’s the least I can do.



Be well

On Wind and Other Matters

With Palms together,


Good Morning Everyone,



This morning it is a little on the chilly side and I hear a breeze already kicking up. It is the “windy season” here in New Mexico which means we can expect winds of between 20 and 50 mph most days. The wind picks up sand and dust and our air becomes a challenge for breathing. I sat in the courtyard this morning, early, before the breezes came. It was quite peaceful.



Today we will bear witness for peace in the park in front of the Branigan Library next to City Hall at 4:30. Please join us if you can. Practicing meditation in the open air can be a powerfully serene experience… if the wind doesn’t get in the way! Still, the Buddha sat regardless, as did all of the ancestors, accepting what came without resistance. This is the heart of the Buddha’s teaching: remain calm even in the midst of a storm. His practice of serene reflection meditation offers us the opportunity to develop the discipline to do just that.



I’m planning a road trip to Austin on my motorcycle to visit my son and his family. I will leave Friday morning and return in time for sesshin on Wednesday. The plan is to go there and paint paintings for his new restaurant. He and his wife, Lynda, like my work and think they will be an asset to the restaurant’s environment. We’ll see. Right now I am ‘all painted out’ having done a number of paintings one after another. So, I’m taking a few days off from the easel until I get to Austin.



If you are planning to attend sesshin, please let me know ASAP as our Tenzo, Emily, will need a number in order to prepare. We will begin sitting on Wednesday evening at 7:00 PM, sit again on Thursday and Friday evenings, and then begin at 7:30 am on Saturday morning. I will post the schedule in a day or two.



I look forward to hearing from you!



Be well,

Daiho

Allowing Your Mind to Rest

With Palms together,




Good Morning Everyone,







Looking at the world I do not see. To see I must quit looking. This is the Zen way. When I look for something I become attached to that thing, a thing that only resides in my mind’s eye: a thought. Becoming attached to a thought is rather like becoming attached to an ice cream on a hot summer’s day. It will soon be gone if I eat it or not.







When I see, I allow my mind a rest, so to speak. I do not give my mind a rest; I allow my mind to rest. Seeing requires not looking, not seeking, not imagining. It requires simply opening our eyes and allowing what is there come to us.







When I paint or write I am simply reflecting what is already there. It is that something that exists before during and after: it is timeless. It is something not manipulated by me. We might call it our original nature, but I can’t be certain. What I know is that when I allow my mind to rest and just express what comes up, that something which emerges is so often completely new to me. I do not try, for when I try; the work is almost always not pure. It is color or words manipulated by me to express a thought, not a reality.







Try this: just put a blank piece of paper in front of you and stare at it. Do not write or draw. Just stare at the empty page. Let your mind go; allow it to flow. Forget thinking about what you might write or draw. Allow the page to teach you. When the page begins to speak, just follow its teaching. Do not be afraid that what you put down will be “good,” “bad,” or anything else. Just let the page complete itself.







In writing we might call this “stream of consciousness.” In art, who knows? No matter what we think, it’s unimportant. What is important is that we practice allowing our mind to rest so that we can practice seeing clearly. In this practice we are able to witness our thoughts and feelings point to our fears and concerns regarding what we do. We might think, “This isn’t good.” Or we might think, “This isn’t what I wanted to express.” In such a case, look under your thoughts and examine your feelings. Begin to see how your thoughts and feelings put you in a sort of prison. Know that you are your own jailor and that you have the ability to set yourself free.







Be well.

The Moon & I

With Palms together,


Good Morning Everyone,



This morning early, say around 3:00 AM or so, I sat outside in the cold staring at the moon. During the full-moon part of the lunar cycle I enjoy establishing this union with our celestial neighbor as we reflect together on one another. The early morning is the best time for such intimacy because there are very few noises, one-to-none cars passing by, and the air is often as crisp as the sky is clear.



As the moon and I consider ourselves, our union becomes more and more intimate. We move quickly past the superficial and enter the world of “don’t know.” The moon: she is wise, she is old, and she is nearly always there. Her wisdom is reflected in her reflection of the sun’s light. Like a pool of water, she receives the light, but does not grasp it. She returns the light to the universe and I, a resident member of that universe, receive it. In my mind’s eye, I return it, not wishing to hold onto such a lovely gift. It is a free and easy play we do and I am happy to be a part of it.



Yesterday I was less than free and easy, however. I was on edge and had trouble settling my mind. We decided to go to Hobby Lobby to purchase more paints and canvases. After shopping, we went back to the car. All of a sudden someone came up behind me and said something. The man’s voice and his positioning himself behind me gave me quite a start. I turned, put up my hand in a “stop” gesture and in a very uncharacteristically aggressive voice, said, “Back off!” The man stepped backward and muttering something, walked away.



I felt terrible about this incident. It reminded me of an earlier time when, trained as a soldier and fighter, I met aggression with aggression, thoughtless and automatic. The poor man was just asking for a dollar. I spent a good deal of time considering my response. The stress of this divorce process, recovering from pain, and the death of my brother all seemed to challenge my ability to be ‘free and easy in the marketplace.’



When sitting with the moon this morning my stressed out world seemed to fall away. I was left with that union I spoke of earlier. A union not only with the moon occurred, bless her, but with the entirety of my world. Peace floated to the surface and all was right in the universe. What I’ve learned, and seem to have to re-learn each and every day, was that to find peace one must only sit down and shut up. Stillness and an open, supple mind willing to surrender becomes, like the moon, a mirror holding nothing.

Be well.