With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
This morning I got up at 5:00 and began picking up, dusting, and polishing. We did most of the other stuff yesterday, the floors, sweeping, etc. Today we will host a party for Olivia (Livvie). We plan to have a pony here for her and her friends to ride. It is going to be a major effort to remain in float mode. :)
Zen is about float mode, so to speak. There's the choppy water float. There's the serene water float. All the while paddling toward that shore we are already standing on. Some of us have a need to flail around in the water, cursing the choppy when we seek serene. Yet serene is within us at all times.
Even with screaming children.
Here's the thing. When we are awake and aware of our oneness with all things, we easily feel the tension rise as things begin to go south. We breath into it, embrace it, and let it go with our breath. When there is too much and the storm is overtaking us, we walk away. We take a break. We practice zazen. There is no harm in taking a break; yet great harm in overstaying our ability to deal with things that are getting out of hand. As Clint Eastwood says, "a man's gotta know his limitations."
When we fail to get out of the way of the storm or don't know how to ride it, we point our fingers, blaming everyone under the sun for our suffering. All the shoulds and coulds and woulds come out like lightning biting at other's butts. Not very Zen. On the other hand, very Zen. Zen is only what the moment is.
The key is training and awareness with the added willingness to take a step away. May we each walk in wonder and ease.
Remember, silence is thunder.
Be well.
Organ Mountain Zen
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
steetZen
With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
This morning I will practice streetZen at the Southwest Environmental Center at the open air Downtown Mall from 9:00 AM to 10:00 AM. If you are interested, please bring a cushion and join me.
Followers of the Buddha Way have practiced this sort of practice since the time of the Buddha himself. streetZen is practiced in mindful silence. A dana bowl is used. In the past, Buddha taught we should walk, approach a home, and simply stand with our bowls. In the USA no one would have any idea what we were doing and we would likely be arrested. Better to go to a public venue and practice Zazen. The benefit is the witness of serene reflection meditation.
I invite you to do this practice.
Be well.
Good Morning Everyone,
This morning I will practice streetZen at the Southwest Environmental Center at the open air Downtown Mall from 9:00 AM to 10:00 AM. If you are interested, please bring a cushion and join me.
Followers of the Buddha Way have practiced this sort of practice since the time of the Buddha himself. streetZen is practiced in mindful silence. A dana bowl is used. In the past, Buddha taught we should walk, approach a home, and simply stand with our bowls. In the USA no one would have any idea what we were doing and we would likely be arrested. Better to go to a public venue and practice Zazen. The benefit is the witness of serene reflection meditation.
I invite you to do this practice.
Be well.
Friday, May 29, 2009
knock, knock
With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone.
With the rising sun
I hear the universe knocking.
Or is it my head pounding at its door?
Who knows?
Who cares.
Silence is thunder.
Be well.
Good Morning Everyone.
With the rising sun
I hear the universe knocking.
Or is it my head pounding at its door?
Who knows?
Who cares.
Silence is thunder.
Be well.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Silence
With palms together,
Good Morning!
My Dharma Grandfather, Matsuoka-roshi, was fond of shouting "Silence is Thunder!" and, in fact, there was some talk of using this as the name of an Order of his dharma heirs. When we are silent, what happens?
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
If silence is thunder, then what is thunder? Words?
Silence decidedly is not in-action. Remember, because we have silenced a person does not mean we have converted him. Sometimes (more often than not) actions are shouts and words, mere whispers.
When spoken to, there is an expectation of verbal response. When it is not forthcoming, what? Silence is loud. It creates open space. It is a deep and dark canyon, be careful!
So, what do you think Sensei Matsuoka meant by this 'silence is thunder'?
Be well.
Good Morning!
My Dharma Grandfather, Matsuoka-roshi, was fond of shouting "Silence is Thunder!" and, in fact, there was some talk of using this as the name of an Order of his dharma heirs. When we are silent, what happens?
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
If silence is thunder, then what is thunder? Words?
Silence decidedly is not in-action. Remember, because we have silenced a person does not mean we have converted him. Sometimes (more often than not) actions are shouts and words, mere whispers.
When spoken to, there is an expectation of verbal response. When it is not forthcoming, what? Silence is loud. It creates open space. It is a deep and dark canyon, be careful!
So, what do you think Sensei Matsuoka meant by this 'silence is thunder'?
Be well.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Here a Star, There a Star...
With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
This morning brought cool desert air across our skin as we hiked our nearly three mile morning trek. It was glorious, though. I love desert walks. The air always seems to fresh and, after a rain, verdant.
Today I would like to address a few lines from the Great Heart of Wisdom Sutra.
O Shariputra, remember, Dharma is fundamentally emptiness, no birth, no death. Nothing is pure, nothing is defiled. Nothing can increase, nothing can decrease. Hence: in emptiness, no form, no feeling no thought, no impulse, no consciousness; no eye, no ear, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind; no seeing, no hearing, no smelling, no tasting, no touching, no thinking, no realm of sight, no realm of thought, no ignorance and no end of ignorance, no old age and death and no end to old age and death. No suffering, no craving, no extinction, no path, no wisdom, no attainment.
This section is a core teaching and reveals the koan of life and death that is at the base of Zen. Dharma is, says Kannon, "emptiness". In Judaism we might call this Ein Sof, in Christianity, the Universal Godhead. It points to the fundamental underlying reality of all things: process, evolvement, unfolding, etc., on an infinite level. In such an understanding, nothing has a permanent, fixed, or of a separate reality. Everything is intimately interconnected and is always, always, changing.
Secondly, the sutra teaches us that all of our senses and the organs we use to sense, all of our thoughts, all of our feelings, in short, everything we think we know, is also "empty." Life and death, old age, youth, suffering, even enlightenment itself has no reality separate from all reality, the reality of constant process.
So?
So, let go, forget about it. Just be who you are, when you are, now. We suffer when we attach to a notion of reality, and expectation of ourselves, or others, or the world. We suffer when we think that our thoughts are actual reflections of reality and that this reality is it.
If we realize the truth of this teaching, we see these manifestations for what they are and can set them aside in order to open ourselves to the buddha within. This buddha is the buddha of infinite life. Life without death, yet life where death is occurring moment to moment, thus allowing ourselves the possibility of being born and re-born in each and every moment of our existence, and as part of the Infinite Everything, being born and re-born eternally as starstuff.
Quite something, this sutra. Don't worry, be happy.
Be well.
Good Morning Everyone,
This morning brought cool desert air across our skin as we hiked our nearly three mile morning trek. It was glorious, though. I love desert walks. The air always seems to fresh and, after a rain, verdant.
Today I would like to address a few lines from the Great Heart of Wisdom Sutra.
O Shariputra, remember, Dharma is fundamentally emptiness, no birth, no death. Nothing is pure, nothing is defiled. Nothing can increase, nothing can decrease. Hence: in emptiness, no form, no feeling no thought, no impulse, no consciousness; no eye, no ear, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind; no seeing, no hearing, no smelling, no tasting, no touching, no thinking, no realm of sight, no realm of thought, no ignorance and no end of ignorance, no old age and death and no end to old age and death. No suffering, no craving, no extinction, no path, no wisdom, no attainment.
This section is a core teaching and reveals the koan of life and death that is at the base of Zen. Dharma is, says Kannon, "emptiness". In Judaism we might call this Ein Sof, in Christianity, the Universal Godhead. It points to the fundamental underlying reality of all things: process, evolvement, unfolding, etc., on an infinite level. In such an understanding, nothing has a permanent, fixed, or of a separate reality. Everything is intimately interconnected and is always, always, changing.
Secondly, the sutra teaches us that all of our senses and the organs we use to sense, all of our thoughts, all of our feelings, in short, everything we think we know, is also "empty." Life and death, old age, youth, suffering, even enlightenment itself has no reality separate from all reality, the reality of constant process.
So?
So, let go, forget about it. Just be who you are, when you are, now. We suffer when we attach to a notion of reality, and expectation of ourselves, or others, or the world. We suffer when we think that our thoughts are actual reflections of reality and that this reality is it.
If we realize the truth of this teaching, we see these manifestations for what they are and can set them aside in order to open ourselves to the buddha within. This buddha is the buddha of infinite life. Life without death, yet life where death is occurring moment to moment, thus allowing ourselves the possibility of being born and re-born in each and every moment of our existence, and as part of the Infinite Everything, being born and re-born eternally as starstuff.
Quite something, this sutra. Don't worry, be happy.
Be well.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Memorial Day
With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
In the US it is Memorial Day. Our attention is directed toward those who gave their lives in defense of their country. I have known a few. I have listened to their cries as they died. With this in mind, please accept the following.
There is a grave danger in over sentimentalizing soldiers and their sacrifices. The danger is that we separate them from ourselves and somehow put them on a pedestal., rather like Madonnas. Moreover, we tend to glamorize warfare in the process and by touching the heartstrings make it far easier to recruit soldiers for and initial new warfare.
I stand opposed to warfare. I oppose soldiers doing warfare. Just as I stand opposed to domestic violence and oppose perpetrators. I have often said we should not confuse the war with the warrior, but it is equally important not to give warriors a free pass. It is a volunteer army, afterall, and people elect to prepare themselves to use deadly force. They should share responsibility therefore in the consequences of using that force.
Honoring those who have died in defense of the US, or any country for that matter, might best be served by vigils against further combat. Working to find, teach, and live non-violent solutions to conflict might be far better than waving flags and blowing bugles.
May we each be a blessing in the universe.
Be well.
Good Morning Everyone,
In the US it is Memorial Day. Our attention is directed toward those who gave their lives in defense of their country. I have known a few. I have listened to their cries as they died. With this in mind, please accept the following.
There is a grave danger in over sentimentalizing soldiers and their sacrifices. The danger is that we separate them from ourselves and somehow put them on a pedestal., rather like Madonnas. Moreover, we tend to glamorize warfare in the process and by touching the heartstrings make it far easier to recruit soldiers for and initial new warfare.
I stand opposed to warfare. I oppose soldiers doing warfare. Just as I stand opposed to domestic violence and oppose perpetrators. I have often said we should not confuse the war with the warrior, but it is equally important not to give warriors a free pass. It is a volunteer army, afterall, and people elect to prepare themselves to use deadly force. They should share responsibility therefore in the consequences of using that force.
Honoring those who have died in defense of the US, or any country for that matter, might best be served by vigils against further combat. Working to find, teach, and live non-violent solutions to conflict might be far better than waving flags and blowing bugles.
May we each be a blessing in the universe.
Be well.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
A Harrowing Experience
A Harrowing Experience
sodaiho
May 24th, 13:33
With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
So, My Little Honey decides she and her friend are going to the Refuge early on Wednesday for a planned Religious School Retreat that would begin on Friday evening and go through Sunday morning. The problem was that a thunderstorm began to roll in and by Friday developed into a freak severe weather event. Her friend left early Friday so Judy was without a car. People planning to attend began cancelling and by Friday afternoon, the event was officially cancelled and a deluge was upon the Refuge creating major flooding and turning the only dirt road into a river.
So, Judy is alone. She is anxious. I ask her if she wants me to come to get her. She says no. Son Jason and family, who were going there anyway for the retreat, decided to go Friday evening. I thought Jason's SUV was a 4-wheel drive vehicle, but apparently it was not and Jason got stuck after missing the Walker Canyon turn. It was nearly midnight. Pitch black.
All through the night Judy and I were talking getting updates on where Jason was. The Country Sherrif figured it out and verbally guided them back to the highway. They settled into a small motel in Cloudcroft for the night...of course it was 3:00 AM.
The next morning Jason tried to get to the Refuge and was within a 100 yards when as he came over the last little hill in front of the outfitter ner us, he slammed on his brakes to avoid smacking into a trailer someone left stuck in the middle of the one lane dirt road. This drive his vehicle, once again, deep into the mud. He was stuck again. They were able to carry the contents of their vehicle up the entrance road to the Refuge and were safe inside with Judy.
Sometime in the afternoon, the County Sherrif was able to get the car pulled out with the help of a mountain resident with a four-wheeler that had a wench. The Sheriff helped them pack up and guided them all back to the highway. By eight o'clock last night they were home in Las Cruces and we all sat down to have pizza.
I am very happy and relieved that they are all back safe and sound!
Next time I will be at her side.
With Palms Together,
Part B:
During all of this, some things came to the surface. I was scheduled to visit Zen Master Brad Warner in El Paso and was committed to Zen activities over the weekend. We both agreed that Judy would go to the Refuge to conduct her retreat. She took care of all of her planning, yet I still felt a great conflict regards not being there with her. I fought this because I truly believe she is a fully competent and capable woman. Yet, she also felt that somehow I should have been there when things "went south" as they say.
I wrestled with feeling powerless to help. I resisted feelings of guilt. Anger was there. We argued. We wrestled. We explored. All over long telephone conversations. .
A modern marriage is pregnant with opportunities to grow, but not without real struggle. The professional woman, competent, capable, and who walks in her own authority is one side. The professional man, competent, capable, and who walks in his own authority is on the other side. Somehow the two sides must become one without losing two.
How does the "we are one" not extinguish the I and the you. In Zen we talk about a release of the self, yet the self is our basic unit. "I" brush my teeth, "we" don't. On the other hand, "we" are in relationship. What does this mean? How is it operationalized?
Judy talked with some friends whose basic identity in relationship is "we". She says they have an agreement to give over their own needs, likes, dislikes, in service to the other. Judy sees them as interdependent. I see them as each dependent. As a survivor of so much trauma, I am deeply suspect of dependence. Its part of that dance of intimacy we PTSD folks seem to do.
Interdependence is one thing, dependence a fully different thing. I wonder though, how, as Judy has asked, to operationalize this.
I know that next time I will be at Judy's side. To do this I must make a choice.There are three parties to this relationship: Me; Her; and Us. It is the Us that gets short shrift. I admit this. In Zen we practice to burn away the self. In this practice we begin to see the self is not an independent existant, but an interconnected, living process. So, while there is a Me, a You, and an Us. There is also none of that, just the one vast process. In my practice, I have been focusing so much attention on getting to the top of that hundred foot pole and so little attention to exactly where my next step will fall that I nearly always place my foot in the larger world, neglecting that world just outside of me.
It is time to re-place that foot.
Be well,
Part C:
With Palms Together,
OK, so, why share all of this?
I get this question a lot. Why do I feel the need to share the personal details of my life?
An answer as best I can:
As a Zen Teacher, my life is not my own. When I became a Zen priest, I took a vow to free all beings, to relieve them from suffering, etc. To do this, one must realize that self and other are the same. We free ourselves: we free all beings. Its all very existential and has to do with the experience of humanity as an individual with the aim of living a collective awareness and responsibility.
My suffering is your suffering, more or less and as I practice to work things through, I feel it (that practice) is my teaching. Of course, it is important to keep some things private. And to respect, as much as possible, the anonymity of those in my life I write about, but in the end, it is this transparency that gives rise to an open heart and a well grounded, no nonsense practice.
We are all human beings. A Zen Master is no less or no more. This is true of all other faith traditions, priests, monks, imams, buddhas or bodhisattvas, as well. Writing as I do ensures this for me and, I hope, communicates to you that what is possible here, is also possible there.
May we each be blessings in the universe.
A bow to each of you, my teachers.
sodaiho
May 24th, 13:33
With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
So, My Little Honey decides she and her friend are going to the Refuge early on Wednesday for a planned Religious School Retreat that would begin on Friday evening and go through Sunday morning. The problem was that a thunderstorm began to roll in and by Friday developed into a freak severe weather event. Her friend left early Friday so Judy was without a car. People planning to attend began cancelling and by Friday afternoon, the event was officially cancelled and a deluge was upon the Refuge creating major flooding and turning the only dirt road into a river.
So, Judy is alone. She is anxious. I ask her if she wants me to come to get her. She says no. Son Jason and family, who were going there anyway for the retreat, decided to go Friday evening. I thought Jason's SUV was a 4-wheel drive vehicle, but apparently it was not and Jason got stuck after missing the Walker Canyon turn. It was nearly midnight. Pitch black.
All through the night Judy and I were talking getting updates on where Jason was. The Country Sherrif figured it out and verbally guided them back to the highway. They settled into a small motel in Cloudcroft for the night...of course it was 3:00 AM.
The next morning Jason tried to get to the Refuge and was within a 100 yards when as he came over the last little hill in front of the outfitter ner us, he slammed on his brakes to avoid smacking into a trailer someone left stuck in the middle of the one lane dirt road. This drive his vehicle, once again, deep into the mud. He was stuck again. They were able to carry the contents of their vehicle up the entrance road to the Refuge and were safe inside with Judy.
Sometime in the afternoon, the County Sherrif was able to get the car pulled out with the help of a mountain resident with a four-wheeler that had a wench. The Sheriff helped them pack up and guided them all back to the highway. By eight o'clock last night they were home in Las Cruces and we all sat down to have pizza.
I am very happy and relieved that they are all back safe and sound!
Next time I will be at her side.
With Palms Together,
Part B:
During all of this, some things came to the surface. I was scheduled to visit Zen Master Brad Warner in El Paso and was committed to Zen activities over the weekend. We both agreed that Judy would go to the Refuge to conduct her retreat. She took care of all of her planning, yet I still felt a great conflict regards not being there with her. I fought this because I truly believe she is a fully competent and capable woman. Yet, she also felt that somehow I should have been there when things "went south" as they say.
I wrestled with feeling powerless to help. I resisted feelings of guilt. Anger was there. We argued. We wrestled. We explored. All over long telephone conversations. .
A modern marriage is pregnant with opportunities to grow, but not without real struggle. The professional woman, competent, capable, and who walks in her own authority is one side. The professional man, competent, capable, and who walks in his own authority is on the other side. Somehow the two sides must become one without losing two.
How does the "we are one" not extinguish the I and the you. In Zen we talk about a release of the self, yet the self is our basic unit. "I" brush my teeth, "we" don't. On the other hand, "we" are in relationship. What does this mean? How is it operationalized?
Judy talked with some friends whose basic identity in relationship is "we". She says they have an agreement to give over their own needs, likes, dislikes, in service to the other. Judy sees them as interdependent. I see them as each dependent. As a survivor of so much trauma, I am deeply suspect of dependence. Its part of that dance of intimacy we PTSD folks seem to do.
Interdependence is one thing, dependence a fully different thing. I wonder though, how, as Judy has asked, to operationalize this.
I know that next time I will be at Judy's side. To do this I must make a choice.There are three parties to this relationship: Me; Her; and Us. It is the Us that gets short shrift. I admit this. In Zen we practice to burn away the self. In this practice we begin to see the self is not an independent existant, but an interconnected, living process. So, while there is a Me, a You, and an Us. There is also none of that, just the one vast process. In my practice, I have been focusing so much attention on getting to the top of that hundred foot pole and so little attention to exactly where my next step will fall that I nearly always place my foot in the larger world, neglecting that world just outside of me.
It is time to re-place that foot.
Be well,
Part C:
With Palms Together,
OK, so, why share all of this?
I get this question a lot. Why do I feel the need to share the personal details of my life?
An answer as best I can:
As a Zen Teacher, my life is not my own. When I became a Zen priest, I took a vow to free all beings, to relieve them from suffering, etc. To do this, one must realize that self and other are the same. We free ourselves: we free all beings. Its all very existential and has to do with the experience of humanity as an individual with the aim of living a collective awareness and responsibility.
My suffering is your suffering, more or less and as I practice to work things through, I feel it (that practice) is my teaching. Of course, it is important to keep some things private. And to respect, as much as possible, the anonymity of those in my life I write about, but in the end, it is this transparency that gives rise to an open heart and a well grounded, no nonsense practice.
We are all human beings. A Zen Master is no less or no more. This is true of all other faith traditions, priests, monks, imams, buddhas or bodhisattvas, as well. Writing as I do ensures this for me and, I hope, communicates to you that what is possible here, is also possible there.
May we each be blessings in the universe.
A bow to each of you, my teachers.
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