Suffering

With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,


Morning arises with birdsong. I am happy and grateful to be awake. This retreat is challenging as it is touching me very deeply. So many people in such deep suffering. I have spent much time listening. And walking. And sitting. And listening. I am coming to conclude that the sufferings we experience, the injuries we receive, the hurts we feel: these are opportunities for grateful generosity. Even if we are the perpetrators of the harm. When we open ourselves to the suffering within and around us and enter it as completely as possible, there resides our heart. Our humanity is in the beat of that heart. Without the gift of suffering no path such as this would be walked.

Listen deeply,
Be well.

First Day

With palms together,

Omega afternoon:
samu interrupted
by thunder showers.
Raking raspberry bushes,
clearing winter residue,
seeing spring
slip up
through the dirt.
I am grateful.

Be well.

Arrived

With palms together,



Arrived in Newburgh, a town near the Institute, and am sitting in the airport Quiznos with three other vets. We are anticipating the retreat and learning about each other. One woman with sexual trauma, one Iraq war vet, and two Vietrnam vets: each of us in various states of repair.



The retreat, I understand, is full, and it looks as though it will be a challenging week for all of us.

Away

With palms together,

Good Morning Everyone,



This morning I am on my way to Omega Institute in New York for a Veteran's retreat. I will return on the evening of the 26th. I will try to stay in-touch as I can via the Internet. For those of you, who sit with me in Las Cruces; please enjoy your continued practice. I look forward to my return and our working together in zazen, private interview, and group discussion.

Up-coming projects include: Establishing Weekly Zen Discussion at Zendo on Fridays at 4:00 PM; establishing the Juarez Zen Center on Sundays at 11:00 AM; planning for Summer Sesshin in July; planning for two week Peace Village also in July.

Be well.

Thought

With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,

Today I do some housekeeping details in order to leave early in the morning Tuesday for the Omega Institute. There I will meet up with friend, Rev. Claude Anshin Thomas, and will practice with him for five days working with veterans within whom the thought of enlightenment has arisen.

This thought is not a bad thing; thoughts are directions from our mind’s working. Often in Zen we say, “well, it’s just a thought and thoughts have no substance.” Some take this idea to mean we should dismiss thoughts altogether. Nonsense.

What is a challenge is to mistake a thought for more than it is and at the same time hold on to it as if it is truth itself. A thought is an element of mental process, no more or less.

The thought of enlightenment is the thought of resolution to our suffering: such a thing is a motivation for practice, but not the practice. If we want to run a marathon, for example, we must have more than a thought about it, but the thought is an essential first step in this very long process.

So, tomorrow I fly to assist all beings in the next step.

Be well.

Be Well

With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,

The morning hour has come and I am awake feeling much better. Being sick is uncomfortable and I learn a lot from it. We should always pay close attention when we are uncomfortable as it is in such moments we are so often ready to receive a teaching.

The gift I receive from illness is the challenge of being nurtured. It has nor beem my way to easily accept help or ask for it. I am naturally inclined to suffer in silence, thank you very much, but such a way in not particularly healthy nor does it enable others to be in-service.

Lately, steps along this path have been helpful,. A teacher both teaches and is taught. Thinking being ill is a bother to others declines their heart and that is harmful to the generation of loving-kindness. It is important for each of us to be loving. Our universe thrives on it. We grow stronger through our mutual aid and the recognition of our interdependence. It takes some of us quite awhile to learn these lessons and accept them.

I am grateful to all of my teachers along this way.

Be well even when ill.

Ill

With palms together,
Good Afternoon Everyone,

This morning came with thunderclaps, lightening, and rain. I spent the night at the house with some sort of stomach virus yanking my chain. And the task of moving the rest of my things out of the house had to be put on hold. I completely missed friend Allen who had come to the condo to help me with shelves. Then, son Jacob came to the rescue, schlepping everything into the car but the butsudan.

I am now installed on the air mattress in my room practicing mindful illness. Tiny laptop and Jisha by my side.