With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
Walking Suki last night and again this morning, I was delighted with the sky and the smell of the desert air after a storm. The grass was wet, the shrubs perky, and the air clean. Fresh.
Someone on the main list noted that we often post with “raw honesty.” This is a challenge in our world. In our world, appearance is nearly everything. To be honest to a fault is to reveal a fault and faults are not acceptable in our world. Blemishes will not do. Indecision, error, inconsistency: these are an anathema to leadership and yet, these very traits are often major aspects of reflective wisdom.
Of late, I have myself suffered a sort of crisis in confidence, doubting myself, my choices, and sometimes even my value to the Zen community. Conditions are always changing and, in my case, rapidly. Adaptation to these changes requires a willingness to be fluid and, in essence, free-forming. What was, no longer is; what will be is not known, and what is, changes with every breath.
So, the occasional “breaks” from posting (which rarely exceed a day or two) and the felt need to go off to the Refuge are more expressions of my insecurity on the one hand, and a need to center, on the other hand, than statements of an actual plan. With the Order finally gaining a Temple space, I will feel much less dis-eased and far more focused on our mission.
Throughout all this, I have tried to post my thoughts and feelings on the processes and relate them somehow to the experience as a Zenster. I believe this is a teaching in itself. I know I am learning from it.
May we each be a blessing in the universe today.
Today at CMZT
7:00 AM. 7:00 PM, Zazen at Condo Zendo
8:30 AM Peace Camp
9:00 AM Zen in the Park
1:00 PM Sign Lease
4:00 PM Zen Discussion Group