A Day's Ramble

With palms together,


Good Afternoon Everyone,



Zendo Note: This evening at 7:00 PM we will continue sesshin, practicing until about 9:00 PM. We will continue Saturday from 7:30 AM until 8:30 PM, and again Sunday morning from 7:30 to 11:30 AM. Please join us.



Today is another wet one. I woke late, about 5:30 AM. It was raining. The pups refused to go out. I guess they were afraid to get their feet wet. I can’t blame them/ Yet, I took a ride this morning in what was a light rain. First I went to Veteran’s Park where I practiced Zazen in the rain. I remembered the monsoon season in Vietnam and left the park for B & N where I found a copy of Disciple Bobby Kankin Byrd’s poem, “Back Roads to Far Towns” on page 120 in the Fall issue of Tricycle magazine. From there, an unsuccessful trip to Wal-Mart, then the ride home in a harder rain. I arrived home soaking wet and grateful that I have a home to return to as so many others do not.



As I write I am looking at my painting-in-progress and am not satisfied. It is far too soulless: a lot of bright color making a landscape of a canyon floor. It feels lifeless to me. Maybe before I pick up a brush or palette knife a glass of wine or shot of whiskey might help, but I doubt it. The painting needs life --- not intoxication. This afternoon I will breathe some life into it, then again, maybe not. I don’t know. From a Zen point of view, this is not only the best place to start, but the best place to remain.



I look forward to having tea this evening, and especially to practice.



PS. Adam Ko Shin Tebbe, founder of Sweeping Zen, will be visiting us sometime in October. Ko Shin is working on a documentary tentatively titled, “Zen in America.” We hope to assist him in raising funds for this very worthwhile documentary project. Let me know if you can help!

To Live in Peace

With palms together,


Good Morning All,



With the stroke of a key uploading an old picture of three monks, my teacher, his wife, myself and another priest in our lineage, walking into Trinity Site, New Mexico carrying a flame originally lit by the atomic bomb blast in Nagasaki, I began to weep. I feel so alone without his presence. While we struggled often together, he was with me as I founded the Order of Clear Mind Zen. He was my support and conscience so often, checking me with his cold, sometimes angry stare. So often I feel as though I do not know what I am doing. So often I feel I am not doing enough. It appears that even in his death he still is teaching me.



I think, aside from weddings and ordinations, walking to Trinity Site with these Japanese Soto priests, who treated us with the greatest respect and gratitude for walking with them, this event was the most meaningful event in my life as a monk. It appears that we of Matsuoka-roshi’s lineage were accepted where it counts most, action. This warmed my heart so much and humbled me greatly.



The atomic flame had been burning since it was ignited by our atomic attack on Japan. The monks of the temple where it was tended to believed it was time to extinguish the flame and “close the circle.” Three of them carried the flame by foot from Japan to Trinity Site here in New Mexico. We gathered together, bearing witness to this effort at forgiveness and closure. For me, it counts as much as my return trip to Vietnam where I was hosted by my former enemies toasted and welcomed. Hard stuff, this.



To live in peace we must be willing to get out of our own way, check our hatred and suspicion at the door of perception and raise compassion and love to embrace our countenance. I recognize for me this has taken years of practice and great effort, but I can tell you from my experience, it is so well worth the effort. We are a nation with a proven capacity to kill in the name of our defense, may we also be a nation equally willing to live in peace. Maybe we need to love ourselves a little less and love our neighbors a little more. Let us practice this together.



Be well

Appearances

With palms together,


Good Morning All,



Today is a good day. We are both very grateful for all the wonderful birthday wishes Kathryn received yesterday for her 60th birthday. We will spend the day recovering from all the excitement birthday celebrations bring. I will be scheduling an appointment to visit a dentist in Palomas, Mexico to replace my aged and now broken dentures. It is an insightful experience to have broken two of my denture’s teeth and having, thereby, face my own ego regarding my appearance.



When the second tooth broke I spent a lot of time and effort supergluing it back in. At some point, it just became impossible and I decided to let it go. It seems our appearance is important to us, yet in the world of Zen we practice to let go of our attachments to such things and this, as well as shaving my head, became a central practice.



It is a good thing to practice in this way. I stared into my bathroom mirror, sometimes for a quarter hour at a time, just looking at myself. At 66 I see the effects of age and the weathering effect of outdoor life. I see the differences between my partially paralyzed left side and my more developed right side. I see impermanence clearly. All things arise and fall away.



Yes, life is good and sometimes, I believe, it takes seeing the bloom of youth in the natural cycle of life fall away, to truly appreciate each and every breath we have. Life is short; do not waste it on frivolous things and merciless vanity. We are perfect just the way we are. My soon to be, new dentures, are not for me, cosmetic, as much as they are a healthy choice.



Be well.

Good Morning All

With palms together,


Good Morning All,



This morning I woke late as I had a late night last night. Yesterday I taught two high school classes about Zen Buddhism, the last one concluding at 9:30 PM and offered zazen at Golden Mesa retirement community in the early afternoon. As is typical of me, I returned home pumped. It is such a pleasure to offer the Buddha’s Dharma to others. I am grateful to Ms. Victoria Glover-Fisk of the New American High School for providing me with this wonderful opportunity to be of service.



I have found people of all ages have a genuine interest in the Buddha Way. A small introductory instruction and practice session always seems to demonstrate the serene power of zazen. Yet, as we know, to take up this practice in earnest is a serious challenge to everyone. My hope is that students and attendees of such classes will remember these moments and eventually come to make the practice a part of their lives.



Two reminders: Thursday evening Zazen in the Zendo is now by appointment. If you wish to practice tonight, please email, text, or call me to arrange this. Second, it is that time of month for me to ask for your dues and donations toward our temple’s rent. Please consider supporting us by going to the Order’s website and clicking on the donation button.



As always, yours in the Dharma. We hope to see you this Sunday for our formal service at 10:00 AM. Be well,

A Day

With palms together,


Good morning all,



This morning I woke later than usual: 4:45 AM! Goodness, the day seemed half over! I decided to be lazy, sitting outside for awhile, tried to clean up my little PC, and sipped coffee. Soon I will go to my annual physical…two years late…and see what’s what. After this I have an opportunity to teach a high school class about Buddhism at 2:00 and an evening class at 8:30. I always look forward to these opportunities as I have found there is nearly always a curiosity about this faith tradition.



What to say to these students? My talks usually begin with my war experience as that pretty much frames the reasons behind my spiritual journey and discovery of Zen. I often follow that with a brief story about the Buddha and how the Buddha Way migrated from India to the rest of the world. I follow this with comments about the Buddha Way being more a practice than belief system and conclude with the practices themselves. It’s a neat little package and can easily be expanded or contracted depending on the time allotted.



So this is my day and I look forward to seeing how it presents itself. Be well!

A Hot Bath Zazen

With palms together,


Good Morning All,



This morning I woke to take a long hot bath in Epsom salts. Over the last week or so these baths have been incredibly helpful for relieving my arthritis. To say nothing of my back muscle pain. But I found another benefit, one I am sure women have known for centuries: they are an excellent contemplative practice. Yes, a cup full of salts in very hot water, a body slipping gingerly down into the tub and a mindful bliss arises from the steam.



Zen is not a singular practice. It is not only zazen. Zen, to be true Zen, is in every moment. Zen is being awake and wholeheartedly present with each and every breath in each and every action. Too often, it seems to me, books on the practice of Zen focus their entire attention on zazen. I think this is a big mistake as it suggests zazen is IT. But zazen, in my opinion, is not IT, whereas an awakened life is.



Yesterday I suffered from sleepwalking through my day. I was sleepwalking due to a drug I was prescribed for anxiety (yes, anxiety), the result of financial difficulties and their pending resolution. My guess is that all of the stressors I have experienced over the last three years caught up with me. My voice was tight, my breath was shallow and sometimes labored. So I went to a clinic and was prescribed some anti-depressants and anti-anxiety agents. The result? Sleepiness, foggy thinking, and, of course, less anxiety. Last night I decided not to take the stronger of the two and this morning I woke with a clear head.



Awareness is key to our practice. Admittedly, yesterday I was in a degree of denial. In retrospect, this is understandable. It’s what drugs do. So, this morning I went to my bath and felt the heat. I will go to my cushion and see myself. Not a bad thing at all.



Time is short, don’t waste it.



Be well,

Patience, yet again

With palms together,


Good Afternoon All,



This morning I am feeling the repercussions of thoughtlessness regarding my body and its age. Somehow, the other day, I tweaked a muscle in my lower back. I say “somehow” because I do not recall doing it, but by deduction know I did as this morning (though clearly healing) I am still quite sore. Yesterday it was a challenge to walk without my lower back seizing up and telling me to sit down! This morning, however, things are healing and my back is not seizing as it did yesterday.



So, the good news is I am healing, but the bad news is, I have a little ways to go so I will not be riding today nor doing much of anything at all. I really do not like not doing things around the residence as this puts a lot of strain on the love of my life, Kathryn. On the other hand, I know that stopping what I’m doing and giving myself time to recover will allow me to recover more quickly, thus relieving Kathryn.



We call this patience. Patience is one of the six paramitas and I have spoken about them and it often, especially this one. Yet, I rarely, if ever, feel I have done them justice. Robert Aitken-roshi said, “Patience is not endurance. It is loving acceptance, loving acceptance, breath by breath. And when you follow the way of patience you find your own best realization, not someone else’s.” (p. 14 Enduring Words)



There is no moment other than this moment to be realized.



Be happy.