Organ Mountain Zen



Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Meaning

With palms together,
Good Morning All,


Meaning

Waking this morning
to a gentle rain against the window
The sound was nourishing.

Inside, under the cover of the patchwork quilt my wife made,
safe and cozy,
able to perceive the sound of the rain.

Outside, a different matter altogether.
No safety, no warmth.
Just cold wet water.

The rain is the same.

Be well.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Oh, Emotion!

With palms together,
Good Morning All,

When we are afraid and are willing to remain in the fear we can learn. It is the same with anger, joy and sadness. Our feelings can be understood as gates which open to our heart-mind. Care must be taken, but it is best if the gates remain open.

When I am afraid, I tend to seek defenses. Of course, it's also a good idea to turn on the light! And often, once the light is on, there is no longer anything there to fear. So, fear is often about not-knowing. If I am afraid and do not turn on a light to look at what is there, I am likely to built a fortress around me with attitude, feelings, and words, that are enough to scare the bejezzus out of an elephant. Much simpler to turn on a light. Simpler, but all too often, more challenging.

What is it we are so afraid of? Our unwillingness to be vulnerable speaks volumes about us, doesn't it? In the end, what will happen will happen...or already has...not-knowing and staying in a fortress in the dark will not help for long.

Turning in the light means being willing to be still with yourself in the midst of whatever is happening around you or within you. When we loose his stillness and succumb to the waves, we only need turn our attention to our breath and the experience of the moment, be it anger, fear, sadness, or joy. These feelings are not lethal, they are feelings, they will always fade away.

Yet, as a group we are woefully inadequate at dealing with them when they are there. Even our emotional vocabulary is poverty stricken. And without a word, we cannot create a sense of mastery. Its as if the parts are just 'out there' buffeting us about the head and shoulders. We say we 'hate' this when we mean we don't like it. We feel 'enraged' when we actually feel annoyed. We are emotional hyper boles.

This tendency is very dangerous as feeling are the drivers of behavior.Too few of us learn how to push in the clutch. And we are off!

Zazen is an excellent practice for learning about the clutch. I recommend it.

Be well.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

On Being a Duck and Other Matters of Consequence

With palms together,
Good Afternoon All,

There are always moments when we are not ourselves. Lately, I have been experiencing many such moments. My practice is good and it is steady. Still, the ordinary breeze that provides movement for my life has sometimes become a tornado.

Recently we have decided to sell our mountain Refuge. We have talked about moving to Memphis. Lots of serious and radical changes seem to be setting off cascades of feelings. Uncertainty, loss, all those yucky sorts of things burble around.

During such times I sense it is important to be many things at once: open, calm, flexible, and yet centered. Of course this isn't always possible and sometimes I feel somewhat hypocritical when I flame up and get angry, sullen or withdrawn.

I think, "I should be able to handle this!" All the while festering inside, my duck rocking around on choppy seas.

In this stage of my life it is so important that I have family: my wife, my children and grandchildren. I need a home. Yet life isn't really like that, is it? Life is fluid. Evolving, undulating, washing up here, fading out there. What's a good duck to do?

We could say, "float". And I suppose this is the best answer, yet it clearly is lacking, since direction always seems important. Even old Zen Masters like Dogen suggest this. In his Tenzo Kyokun, he says we should prepare tomorrow's meal this evening, but while doing so, we should be completely present.

So, here it is. I have no idea. My present is, my tomorrow may be something else again. Uncertainty seems to be my foundation.

All we can do is the best we can in each moment we are awake.

Be well.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Relative Certainty

With palms together,
Good Morning All,

Zen always has a person by the hair, short or otherwise, and yanks them about. Everything is relative to everything else, form has no substance, everything is in flux, we teach; yet 'no substance' takes form, in the flux there is some 'thing' and there is an absolute. In Zen, context and method are everything.

To say something, anything, is always incorrect because words are pale pictures of actual experience. We say behavior reveals our understanding. Much like a flower reveals the soil.

People can catch themselves on hooks of their own making. Waving in the wind as a fish flopping about out of water, we create much ado with our words. And so our great ancestors often cite: silence is thunder.

On the other hand, words are one of the major conveyances of our thoughts and feelings. Silence may speak volumes but is always open to complete misunderstanding. Of course a true Master could care less and would only see this misadventure as a teaching opportunity.

Care should always be taken with our speech and we should never be so certain about the truth we think we possess. Sometimes silence is thunder, sometimes its just an invitation. When we understand form is emptiness we should immediately understand emptiness is form. The relative only makes sense in the backdrop of an absolute.

Be well.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Picky, picky, picky

With palms together,
Good Morning All,

This morning at Zen Center I was accompanied by one other: faithful Zen To. We sat together and were witness to wonderful birdsong. The Zen Center was chilly. It is cool. And after our incense offering I made pancakes and eggs with hot coffee.

My griddle was a tad too hot and I forgot to put some oil under the eggs, but other than that, the food was perfect.

In Zen we have a saying that we should accept what is offered. Of course, we are not to take what is not offered either. Both of these suggest we set ourselves, desires, tastes, and other discrimination's aside.

So when the pancakes are a bit dark and hard and the eggs aren't exactly over medium, well, we eat and enjoy and thank the many lives and hands that brought us the food.

I struggle with this on occasion, picky eater that I am. I don't want a lot of fat and sugar in my diet. With so many people starving to death in our world, how can I be so picky? On the other hand, I prefer vegetables and fruits, love nuts and cheese, and eat cherry tomatoes like candy. Still, I rarely make demands on wait staff, complain about my food (except to My Little Honey), and otherwise allow my feelings to rule my life.

Please consider making a generous offering to your local food pantry today. And in the process, remind yourself there are millions of others who cannot afford to pick and choose.

Be well.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Humanity in the Balance

With palms together,
Good Morning All,

Last evening instead of zazen, I attended a screening of Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth." Please do yourself a favor and click on the link below to this film's website. Clearly we are facing some serious problems environmentally. No amount of partisan bickering or special interest crap will save us from what the earth itself will do to us if we do not become wiser.

This was my second time through this film. I was struck with Mr. Gore's humanity. I was taken once again with his ability to set out the facts, undeniable facts, regarding our climate change. I was reminded, childishly I suppose, of the beginning scenes of Superman when Superman's father is trying to convince his government that there is an impending crisis.

Then the thought struck me like a thunderclap: its futile. Mr. Gore named his first book, "Earth in the Balance." I have a copy of it. But I think it is misstated. More accurate would be, "Humanity in the Balance." The earth isn't going anywhere and as the film powerfully points out, has its own natural ways of correcting things.We keep thinking in human terms. The earth will have its way and regardless of how special we think we are, it will recover its balance and that it that. The earth measures its time in millenia. A few hundred thousand years, waves and waves of change, and everything is back on track, sans humanity.

So, maybe that Christian text, Revelations, is on target, perhaps we will end in flames, the flames of a global warming of our own making.

http://www.climatecrisis.net/

Be well.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Cease Doing Evil

With palms together,
Good Morning All,


The first of the Three Pure Precepts is "Cease doing evil." Not so simple in today's world. What, after all, is evil? Evil conjures up all sorts of things, the least of which is Halloween masks or Tales From the Crypt. Evil is something we too often see as very specific. War. Violence. Cruelty. Evil has a face we believe and more, a face we are all apt to both see and agree upon.

I'm not so sure. I suspect the true face of evil is much more subtle and difficult to see.

Evil causes harm, it erodes life, kills, causes us to suffer. But, then, so does good. Choosing even in the affirmative always negates something. Perhaps it isn't the actual choice so much as choice itself? To choose one person over another for a transplant. One country over another for our aid. One battle instead of another. Or not to fight at all. So what is evil? That which causes harm? Everyday we cause harm. Is it a matter of scale? Or intent? Or consequence?

Is it enough to be aware? Enough to translate that awareness into some sort of action?

I don't know.

I think my questions are important, terribly important. I think we do not think about them nearly enough and should talk about them often. We certainly don't pay much attention to them as we live out our daily lives. But, on the other hand, that's why we practice zazen, isn't it? To raise our level of awareness? To get mind, body, and environment in sync and on the same page?

I hope so.

I really do.

Be well.