A Crack in Everything

With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,

“Ring the bell that still can ring,
Forget your perfect offering,
There is a crack,
A crack in everything,
That’s how the light gets in.”
L. Cohen

Today comes with clouds and the threat of rain. ‘Got out of the mountains just in time, I understand, as another snow is coming there today. Tonight we are to sit down for Sunday dinner, the kids, their partners, and Judy. We will have a discussion.

On April 1, I will move into one of our two condominiums, Unit 1115. It has a courtyard and was our apartment when we first retreated from the mountain winters. We need to talk out the “parameters” of our separation and make sure the family is all on the same page.

I am looking forward to this living alone segment of my life in an odd sort of way. Being alone, like sitting zazen, offers an opening for the “light to come in” as Leonard Cohen suggests. And in keeping with his lyrics, being alone or sitting zazen are like “cracks” in the everyday.

There is a piece in the Mishkan T’filah, the Reform Jewish prayer book that asks the Infinite to “disturb us” as we enter prayer (or in meditation, I will add). We invite ourselves not to mistake our serenity as an excuse to overlook the suffering of others, not to feel that we are somehow special, better, or closer to Everything That Is just because we are in a sanctuary.

A separation is such a disturbance. We need them. I need them. I seek the light to come in; I invite it to illuminate my heart and expose my complacency. For better or worse, life must be lived as it actually is. Complacency is a blinder, shutting out light and inviting sleep.

So let’s invite the bell to ring.

Be well.

Refuge

With palms together,

Good Evening Everyone,



The Refuge seemed cold and barren without students. There is much work that needs to be done there, gutter replacement, solar system upgrade, generator repair, general grounds clean-up. Winter exposes so much!



Ken-roshi replaced our water pump, but the hoses to the storage tanks had been damaged by snow and ice, so pumping was out of the question. It seems Dharma Mountain was damaged as well: two breaks in foof beams. This winter has brought lots of snow and precious few days of higher temperatures to melt the stuff.



As spring approaches and depending on finances, I will try to begin repairs with the help of sons Jacob and Jason, as well as any others who might be interested. Gutter replacement is top priority as we will need to collect the water we need for the year through the coming rainy season.



Due my change in status and the costs of repairs, I am forced to ask for donations.I will be sitting streetZen more often as the days pass with begging bowl. Clear Mind Zen has a donation button on our website, www.clearmindzen.org



If you are able and so desire, please consider helping.



Thank you.

Ahimsa

With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
Morning and my body do not seem to be in accord today. I am awake before it is time and my head is rebelling with a dull thud. Muscles ache, tendons argue, and coffee feels like medicine rather than the delight that it usually is. Still, the day is here and I am grateful to rise to meet it.
One of the key precepts in contemplative life is ahimsa, do no harm. The precepts themselves seem to flow from this central notion. I would rather understand this practice in its affirmative: I vow to nurture life.
When I do this, precepts such as ‘do not kill’ are recast as “support and nurture life”, and “do not steal” as “”affirm the integrity of others”. When I attempt to live in this way, my aim is to practice living my life as a healer. The tools I possess reside in my heart/mind and are expressed through my body and speech.
Refraining from something is passive. It is far too easy to relax into a sort of quietism I can ill afford as a Bodhisattva. So, today I vow to support and nurture life in each thing I do.

Be well.

My Face

With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,

Stepping out of the light of the known, approaching the edge, what is my face? The edge between the known and the unknown is the true heart of darkness, At this edge I experience what at first feels like fear, but when I open my eyes! Awe.
In this place, I realize there is no true darkness because darkness is only a doorway to the light of my True Nature. What is my face?

Be well

Seeds

With palms together,

Good Evening Everyone,

This day was a long one. I just returned from El Paso where I sat with the No Sides/Both Sides Zen Sangha, a border community. Two Zensters were from Juarez one of whom, Susanna, used to come to Zen Center to sit with me. It was very good to see her again.

I will be ordaining Bobby Byrd, one of the founders of that Zendo, the first week or April at Hanamatsuri Bobby and I go back a few years now and it is good to see him take this step.

Afterwards, we had dinner, Bobby, John Fortunato, and me. It was good to meet with these two Zensters. Three old farts sitting in a Middle Eastern Café in El Paso Texas talking Zen, Christianity, and Judaism: who da thunk it?

The seeds are being planted. May the flowers bloom.

Be well.

A reminderr: there are no Sunday Zen Services at my personal Zendo until further notice.

Ocean

With palms together,
Good Evening Everyone,

Is eternal life, that is, the practice and realization of Zen, simply the absence of an I? No drop of water is independent from an ocean. At various times we are drops, whole waves, and even the ocean in its entirety. Our practice is to be at ease attaining one in the same.

Be well.

The Student and the Teacher

With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
The night sky invites my eye. I am sitting at my dining room table next to the picture window. When I turn off the lights, it is as though I am sitting in a planetarium. There is such beauty in the early morning. The sound of the heating system, or the boys padding around on the tile floor, or the crunch of somebody nibbling at the dog food I just put down: these are the sounds moving through the darkness.
It is good to have this time. I face a very busy day today, as Wednesdays typically are for me. Gentle time to be aware, unhurried, and unfolding is precious. Such moments are true teachers.
The lessons involve the mysteries of our personal connection to that which is hidden. How we face these mysteries is important. With open or closed eyes? With open or closed ears? With open or closed heart?
Be still and pay attention I whisper to myself.
Be well,