Organ Mountain Zen



Friday, August 28, 2009

Appreciation

With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,

Over the next three mornings we will host a garage sale at our home. Goodness. I don't look forward to this process. My Little Honey, however, has been working diligently to make this happen. She does so much for me and for "us". I pale in comparison, not that we should make comparisons.

Appreciation for those who are close to me and who love me is not a difficult challenge for me, expressing it is. I am awkward with warm, fuzzy expressions, choosing almost always to be silent when I feel overwhelmed by the help and love of others. The problem is, of course, that people need to feel appreciated and struggle when they are not.

For me, I think the issue involved is vulnerability to emotion. I feel vulnerable when I express a soft, warm, and fuzzy feeling. When I express gratitude to another human being its as though I must put up my guard. Their goodness opens me up to feelings.

Lately especially, I have noticed a rise in my anxiety. Vulnerability is problematic. Yet here it is: life.

Recognizing and being willing to express appreciation to those who care for us is critical to healthy relationships. I find it easy to appreciate the earth, the grocery store, farmers, cooks, and gas stations. I am working on expressing my appreciation to my family.

May this note be a first step.

Be well.

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