So Here We Are

With palms together,

Good Morning Everyone,

This morning I woke at 4:45!  Late for me.  After siting a bit, I watched an episode of a James Spader show called,"Blacklist" and it got me thinking.  Big problem! :)  Anyway, I acknowledge we all do things in our lifetimes which erode our sense of self-esteem.  And we all witness and do things that raise our sense of hope and open our hearts to love.  Sometimes these are events that are coincident. Which can be one way of saying at times the end justifies the means.  Yet, we must ask ourselves, "is our sense of self-esteem and the warming of our hearts so important that we can justify an action otherwise judged as horrific?" If it feels good it's ok to do it?  Not always. 

Today our study group will take up the question of the meaning our our own lives.  As we approach death, which by the way, is an every breath proposition, we may begin to wonder about the value of our lives.  As an aged person, I am obliged (I suspect I have little choice) to address these issues as one of the final unresolved conflicts in Erickson’s life stage model.  But, I suspect such a reflection and introspective task may be a god idea for any of us no matter where we are on life’s so-called “highway.”

What have I learned that I believe has value to my children and the world at large? Has my life been meaningful, and if so, how?  In what way?

I don’t know.  I do know that any answer I might give right now will be an advertisement.  It will be a refection of a construction, the result of selected memories pasted together to form some sort of cohesive idea of who I think I am and what import I have or what impact I have had over the 67 years of my lifetime.  

My sense at this point is that what I say or what I believe about myself is far less important than the journey we each take in discovering this truth.  To sit in Zazen, facing ourselves, ids to sit facing our construction.  Over time, the construction begins to come apart.  Our stories about ourselves begin to erode or the light of introspection clarifies the distortions, opens new pathways to  a changing, constantly changing, understanding of ourselves.  We are left with nothing substantial.  And so it is.

Our lives exist on a constantly shifting stage.  Our lives themselves are a fiction, as our lives are not what we believe them to be.  We are not independent creatures living without the need for others.  We depend on others, others depend on us.  Yes, form is emptiness, emptiness is form.

Be well.