Pain and Suffering Part Two
With palms together,
Good Evening All,
Its a chilly 34 degrees this evening here in southern New Mexico. When its cold my body wants to recede into itself. I argue with it but to no avail. My body has a mind of its own. One of the things about aging is this: our minds and bodies assert themselves with both vigor and authority. I want to run. My feet, legs, lungs, and mind rebels: "No!" So I no longer run. Simple?
No, since as a result I suffer. Why? Because I want to run. I want to walk without pain. I want, I want, I want....But I can't. Here's the thing, suffering is not pain. Suffering is our relationship with pain. Pain is pain, that's all. Of course pain is painful, duh! Suffering, on the other hand, is a result of our desire not to be in pain. Just so, we suffer when we cherish something, not wanting it to change, but it changes despite our desire.
The Buddha Way is simple: change your relationship to the thing you desire. Let your desire fall away. Its not that we come to a place of not caring, it is, instead, coming to a place of honest reflection and acceptance of the nature of things as they are. We are of the nature to suffer because we don't accept the truth of our nature. And that nature is change. Change is not unique to us. The one constant in this universe is just that: change.
What I could do ten years ago I cannot do today. I suffer when I hold onto the belief I ought be able to do those things. That belief is unrealistic and flies in the face of that one constant: everything changes. So suffering ends when we authentically come to terms with our realities. This doesn't mean our pain will end, to the contrary, we may actually feel more pain because we are now looking at it directly. Yet, because this is so, it becomes possible to watch our pain and look deeply at it.
Robert Bly, the poet, once wrote, "If you don't like the mud you're in, change it." My wife has helped me a great deal. She has, in no uncertain terms, pointed out my suffering, as well as the fact that my suffering affects others, but in particular, her. We are not just living for ourselves, are we? Our old mud leaves its tracks and traces and on occasion dirties up our home. To put an end to our suffering we must give it up. Some of us like our old mud, though. So we keep it and suffer all the more as a result. Crazy? I don't know. We are comfortable being what we know. My advice? Get uncomfortable. Practice being silent in the face of change.Lastly, find ways to embrace and value change. As it is change which allows life to exist.
Be well
With palms together,
Good Evening All,
Its a chilly 34 degrees this evening here in southern New Mexico. When its cold my body wants to recede into itself. I argue with it but to no avail. My body has a mind of its own. One of the things about aging is this: our minds and bodies assert themselves with both vigor and authority. I want to run. My feet, legs, lungs, and mind rebels: "No!" So I no longer run. Simple?
No, since as a result I suffer. Why? Because I want to run. I want to walk without pain. I want, I want, I want....But I can't. Here's the thing, suffering is not pain. Suffering is our relationship with pain. Pain is pain, that's all. Of course pain is painful, duh! Suffering, on the other hand, is a result of our desire not to be in pain. Just so, we suffer when we cherish something, not wanting it to change, but it changes despite our desire.
The Buddha Way is simple: change your relationship to the thing you desire. Let your desire fall away. Its not that we come to a place of not caring, it is, instead, coming to a place of honest reflection and acceptance of the nature of things as they are. We are of the nature to suffer because we don't accept the truth of our nature. And that nature is change. Change is not unique to us. The one constant in this universe is just that: change.
What I could do ten years ago I cannot do today. I suffer when I hold onto the belief I ought be able to do those things. That belief is unrealistic and flies in the face of that one constant: everything changes. So suffering ends when we authentically come to terms with our realities. This doesn't mean our pain will end, to the contrary, we may actually feel more pain because we are now looking at it directly. Yet, because this is so, it becomes possible to watch our pain and look deeply at it.
Robert Bly, the poet, once wrote, "If you don't like the mud you're in, change it." My wife has helped me a great deal. She has, in no uncertain terms, pointed out my suffering, as well as the fact that my suffering affects others, but in particular, her. We are not just living for ourselves, are we? Our old mud leaves its tracks and traces and on occasion dirties up our home. To put an end to our suffering we must give it up. Some of us like our old mud, though. So we keep it and suffer all the more as a result. Crazy? I don't know. We are comfortable being what we know. My advice? Get uncomfortable. Practice being silent in the face of change.Lastly, find ways to embrace and value change. As it is change which allows life to exist.
Be well
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