Stumbling Toward Enlightenment

With palms together,
Good Morning All,

With cooler air comes warmer clothes. And often a quicker pace. As a result of my paralysis, I stumble alot, especially if I try to go faster, and even worse if holding anything at all, even something like the mail. Over the years I have developed a sort of love/hate relationship with my disability. On the one hand it is a serious pain in the you know what. On the other hand, it is a valuable and ever present teacher.

Life is like that.

So when I stumble, I mutter something to myself, and depending, it might be addressing that first hand, or that second hand. In either case, I slow done a bit and place my attention on placing my foot, picking up my foot, and the swing of my arms. I also quickly readjust my thinking.

In many ways I am blessed for living the life I have. I think we all are. Each of us lives. It is our special blessing to appreciate our lives as they are.

Be well.

A Blog of Interest, Hmmm

With palms together,
Good Morning All,

My Yahoo360 Blog is being featured this month by Yahoo as one of their interesting blogs. Goodness, my mailbox was very full with comments, requests for connection, and congratulations. I am practicing several of those pesky paramitas just now.

The air has definitely taken a turn for the colder side of things. It feels good. I laundered my sweatshirts and have located my sweaters. In the desert southwest we need little more than than. My robes are warm and I enjoy them in the Zendo.

A shaved head does require a hat. I prefer those knitted sock thingies, sort of like a mitten for the brain. My Little Honey often thinks I look ridiculous. I think I'm cool...well, warm, actually.

Be well.

Life Is Like That

With palms together,
Good Morning All,


The challenge of serene reflection meditation is rather steep. On the surface it appears very easy, just sit still for awhile. Yet, when we make the choice to stop our movement, things seem to happen: an old pain surfaces, an itch develops, an awful thought arises...or a very pleasant one. So just sitting there itself becomes a serious obstacle to what we want, namely, to move.

I recommend not moving.

Serene reflection meditation is not relaxation, nor is it a means of finding bliss. It is not therapeutic and it is not easy. It is hard work requiring your constant attention.

Life is like that.

When we practice living we tend to think of it as easy. Oh, if I were twenty one, no problem! If only I had a better job! Or a college degree! Or a beautiful spouse! Or that nice new car being advertised! Life would be perfect. Then we get these things.

Yes, life is like that.

It requires our constant attention.

Be well.

Of Our Own Making

With palms together,
Good Morning All,

Of Our Own Making

When the sky is so beautiful
I fail to see the gentle grass.

Big Mind is so seductive.
I want to smack it.

That grass is home to snakes,
Yet it frames the sky.

Little Mind is so ordinary.

I want to puff it up.

Every picture needs a frame,
Every frame, a picture.

I am a metronome:
both artist and audience.

___

Be well.

Meaning

With palms together,
Good Morning All,


Meaning

Waking this morning
to a gentle rain against the window
The sound was nourishing.

Inside, under the cover of the patchwork quilt my wife made,
safe and cozy,
able to perceive the sound of the rain.

Outside, a different matter altogether.
No safety, no warmth.
Just cold wet water.

The rain is the same.

Be well.

Oh, Emotion!

With palms together,
Good Morning All,

When we are afraid and are willing to remain in the fear we can learn. It is the same with anger, joy and sadness. Our feelings can be understood as gates which open to our heart-mind. Care must be taken, but it is best if the gates remain open.

When I am afraid, I tend to seek defenses. Of course, it's also a good idea to turn on the light! And often, once the light is on, there is no longer anything there to fear. So, fear is often about not-knowing. If I am afraid and do not turn on a light to look at what is there, I am likely to built a fortress around me with attitude, feelings, and words, that are enough to scare the bejezzus out of an elephant. Much simpler to turn on a light. Simpler, but all too often, more challenging.

What is it we are so afraid of? Our unwillingness to be vulnerable speaks volumes about us, doesn't it? In the end, what will happen will happen...or already has...not-knowing and staying in a fortress in the dark will not help for long.

Turning in the light means being willing to be still with yourself in the midst of whatever is happening around you or within you. When we loose his stillness and succumb to the waves, we only need turn our attention to our breath and the experience of the moment, be it anger, fear, sadness, or joy. These feelings are not lethal, they are feelings, they will always fade away.

Yet, as a group we are woefully inadequate at dealing with them when they are there. Even our emotional vocabulary is poverty stricken. And without a word, we cannot create a sense of mastery. Its as if the parts are just 'out there' buffeting us about the head and shoulders. We say we 'hate' this when we mean we don't like it. We feel 'enraged' when we actually feel annoyed. We are emotional hyper boles.

This tendency is very dangerous as feeling are the drivers of behavior.Too few of us learn how to push in the clutch. And we are off!

Zazen is an excellent practice for learning about the clutch. I recommend it.

Be well.

On Being a Duck and Other Matters of Consequence

With palms together,
Good Afternoon All,

There are always moments when we are not ourselves. Lately, I have been experiencing many such moments. My practice is good and it is steady. Still, the ordinary breeze that provides movement for my life has sometimes become a tornado.

Recently we have decided to sell our mountain Refuge. We have talked about moving to Memphis. Lots of serious and radical changes seem to be setting off cascades of feelings. Uncertainty, loss, all those yucky sorts of things burble around.

During such times I sense it is important to be many things at once: open, calm, flexible, and yet centered. Of course this isn't always possible and sometimes I feel somewhat hypocritical when I flame up and get angry, sullen or withdrawn.

I think, "I should be able to handle this!" All the while festering inside, my duck rocking around on choppy seas.

In this stage of my life it is so important that I have family: my wife, my children and grandchildren. I need a home. Yet life isn't really like that, is it? Life is fluid. Evolving, undulating, washing up here, fading out there. What's a good duck to do?

We could say, "float". And I suppose this is the best answer, yet it clearly is lacking, since direction always seems important. Even old Zen Masters like Dogen suggest this. In his Tenzo Kyokun, he says we should prepare tomorrow's meal this evening, but while doing so, we should be completely present.

So, here it is. I have no idea. My present is, my tomorrow may be something else again. Uncertainty seems to be my foundation.

All we can do is the best we can in each moment we are awake.

Be well.