Thought

With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,

Today I do some housekeeping details in order to leave early in the morning Tuesday for the Omega Institute. There I will meet up with friend, Rev. Claude Anshin Thomas, and will practice with him for five days working with veterans within whom the thought of enlightenment has arisen.

This thought is not a bad thing; thoughts are directions from our mind’s working. Often in Zen we say, “well, it’s just a thought and thoughts have no substance.” Some take this idea to mean we should dismiss thoughts altogether. Nonsense.

What is a challenge is to mistake a thought for more than it is and at the same time hold on to it as if it is truth itself. A thought is an element of mental process, no more or less.

The thought of enlightenment is the thought of resolution to our suffering: such a thing is a motivation for practice, but not the practice. If we want to run a marathon, for example, we must have more than a thought about it, but the thought is an essential first step in this very long process.

So, tomorrow I fly to assist all beings in the next step.

Be well.

Be Well

With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,

The morning hour has come and I am awake feeling much better. Being sick is uncomfortable and I learn a lot from it. We should always pay close attention when we are uncomfortable as it is in such moments we are so often ready to receive a teaching.

The gift I receive from illness is the challenge of being nurtured. It has nor beem my way to easily accept help or ask for it. I am naturally inclined to suffer in silence, thank you very much, but such a way in not particularly healthy nor does it enable others to be in-service.

Lately, steps along this path have been helpful,. A teacher both teaches and is taught. Thinking being ill is a bother to others declines their heart and that is harmful to the generation of loving-kindness. It is important for each of us to be loving. Our universe thrives on it. We grow stronger through our mutual aid and the recognition of our interdependence. It takes some of us quite awhile to learn these lessons and accept them.

I am grateful to all of my teachers along this way.

Be well even when ill.

Ill

With palms together,
Good Afternoon Everyone,

This morning came with thunderclaps, lightening, and rain. I spent the night at the house with some sort of stomach virus yanking my chain. And the task of moving the rest of my things out of the house had to be put on hold. I completely missed friend Allen who had come to the condo to help me with shelves. Then, son Jacob came to the rescue, schlepping everything into the car but the butsudan.

I am now installed on the air mattress in my room practicing mindful illness. Tiny laptop and Jisha by my side.

Buttered Toast

With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,

Today is a sunny day with a threat of rain sometime. It would seem there is always a threat of something if we listen to the news. I chose not to. Whatever is there is there: my life is to meet it as completely as possible. Although I did not sleep well, I still woke at four and listened to the stillness of the early morning.

My heart/mind is opening, but I sat Zazen early today troubled by my lack of sleep. Sitting quietly, my eyes felt heavy, and I was mindful of a deep desire to just fall asleep there on the cushion.

Let go, I say to myself. Just be present. An owl hoots. A cockroach asks to be invited in. I say no and invite him out. Another bird is warbling. I consider my day: Zazen at Veteran’s Park at ten, coffee at Barnes and Nobles’ afterwards. An open afternoon presents itself although I will likely visit the hospital and the nursing home.

And after that, nap and study time.

But just now, buttered cinnamon-sugar toast awaits my mouth. I am grateful indeed for the many hands and lives that bring such delicious foods to me!

Be well, y’all.

Sit Down and Shut Up

With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,

There is a place of no suffering. It is a place where we live in complete freedom and complete responsibility, yet without fear, without pain, without loss. I touch this place on very sweet occasions. Rare, like the so sweet passing chill in the air on a hot summer’s day, it is not something that can stay with us. Unless. Unless.

Yesterday I felt very tired. The day before was quite long and exhausting. I left Torah study early, took a nap, and found that I had slept right through the first meeting of a new class I had looked forward to attending. Dokusan with Student Dai Shugyo was followed by another rest period, then off to do meditation at Temple Beth El.

Usually this is followed by yoga, but yesterday was different. The Social Action Committee had scheduled a meeting right in the middle of the class. Since I was invited to become the next chair of that committee, I attended.

After the committee meeting, I went home to meet with my Jisha, Soku Shin. We talked about our day and about me in relation to it. My Jisha helps me clarify; she is like a living kyosaku. What I am coming to address in my life is a repeated theme: how to deal with negative comments and views regarding myself.

Some people’s assessments of me can be quite hurtful and for years, I have had these assessments passed to me through my loved ones and friends. It always feels like a mystery to me as my view of myself is one that suggests I am a person who is nearly always kind, open and caring, willing to help, and willing to set aside self in service to others.

So, when I hear I am somehow not as good as I should be, that I hurt those I care about, and that those I am in relation to can ‘do better’, I am stunned, actually. I wish people could just say such things directly to me rather than go through my friends and loved ones. Such moments are serious teachers and I need to pay close attention to them. As a result, I feel the need to sit down and shut up.

So, for a while, I think I will.

Next week I am off to NY for a retreat with veterans and to visit with Claude Anshin. I look forward to it.
Be well.

Ride On!

With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,

This morning I am waking up to “kids” in my Zendo. Youthful medical students from all over are riding across America on their bicycles offering talks on health related issues. Temple Beth El is hosting them overnight on their way from San Diego to Washington, DC. Temple members divided up the group, offering our homes to them for the night. I have four and Zen Student Colette has four. Last night they enjoyed stories, some wine, and my community’s hot tub. This morning they will climb on their bikes and ride to El Paso where they will offer a talk.

Young doctors with great compassion: impressive. You may follow these athletes here:

http://www.rideforworldhealth.org/

May they enjoy a safe journey and continue to be a blessing in the universe.

Days of Wonder

With palms together,
Good Morning Everyone,
Yesterday’s morning Zazen was particularly still. I had spent much of my early morning repairing a very old mokugyo that was damaged by someone using a drumstick on its surface. A mokugyo is a hollowed out wooden block made to look a bit like a fish with bulging eyes and is used to keep time in chanting. This one was scratched, pitted, and pitiful. For several days, I have been oiling it with lemon oil, as it was so dry it was like tinder.

Anyway, I took out fine sandpaper and sanded and sanded and sanded. Then I scraped out the red paint some prior owner had painted in its face and oiled some more. Time got away from me and I suddenly realized my samue (black work clothes) were full of sanding dust. I barely got to the park on time.

There is something about this particular mokugyo that has caught my heart. Maybe it is that it is just so pitiful, maybe because its small, or even that I traded it with the Both Sides/No Sides Zen community for the larger mokugyo I had in my Zendo. They had purchased the beat-up little gal off the Internet for about four dollars I understand.
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Everything needs a home; everything needs love. I have grown fond of this mokugyo (I am naming, Harriet) because it is just my size and reminds me of myself. I am inviting Harriet to help me bring my body, speech, and mind together each morning as we chant: kan ji zai bo satsu gyo jin hannya hara mita ji sho ken go on kai ku do issai ku yaku…

In the afternoon, we visited two people, one a homeless man in the hospital for pneumonia. The other is an elder who craves company. He lives in a nursing home. With the former, we listened, with the latter we talked out under a tree and listened to birds and the flow of water from a fountain.


April 13, 2010
This morning, a new day, Clear Mind Zendo, in conjunction with Temple Beth El, will host 5 bicycle riders of a group of some 25 riders who are riding across America for World Health. I have several air mattresses and will make sure everything is in good shape for them.
Yesterday two benefactors offered very substantial donations to the Order of Clear Mind Zen. I am considering how best to use this money and believe a part should be used to purchase new zabutons and zafus. Purchase of student supplies should be next; things such as rakusu rings, jizu beads, and the like, since we offer these to students without charge. Yesterday we did purchase a small standing Buddha for Hannamatsuri ceremonies, as well as a wall hanging expressing a teaching of the Buddha, a small button that asks, “What would Buddha Do?” and a small “Co-Exist” window sticker The balance will be held in savings.

We are grateful for these and other recent offerings of dana. Surely we are beneficiaries of very generous hearts,

Be well.