The Way, Part Eight

Buddha Precepts, Part Eight

Do not elevate yourself by criticizing others: Respect and value yourself.



This precept is about us. When we criticize others for the sake of elevating our selves, we are actually lowering ourselves. The precept before this is about separating ourselves through gossip, it is about them and our relation to them. This precept is more about our relationship to our selves.



When in the presence of others and we see someone else doing something in a way different from how we might do it, what do we do? Internally, we tend to evaluate it as “not right.” While this is a problem for many of us, as we just cannot seem to resist either the valuation or the sharing of it. This precept goes to our intent.



We can evaluate for the sake of helping, for the sake of protecting, or for the sake of efficiency, as long as those evaluations are both necessary and sought out by the other. But when we evaluate for the sake of showing our superiority, for the sake of demonstrating our expertise, or for the sake of making ourselves look good in the eyes of others, we are misusing evaluation on the one hand and demonstrating our own emotional and psychological insecurity on the other hand.



When we need to put others down in order to feel good about ourselves, we show our insecurity and our willingness to harm. These put down critiques become habitual and we can easily become known as toxic. They are challenging habits to break.



Advice: Begin a practice of mindful speech. In order to practice mindful speech we must be willing to consider both our word’s necessity and their intent. Second, create a space between you and other, In that space look to see both their value and the value of their way. Each of these are our teachers. Third, take up a practice of good enough. More often than not, our criticisms are about our ideas of perfection, unattainable ideas, by the way. For practice, say “good enough” from time to time and reside with the thoughts and feelings that arise in such a practice.



Letting others be who and what they are is an important Buddhist practice and central to our Way; learning to recognize and value ourselves is equally important.

Do not elevate yourself by criticizing others: Respect and value yourself.



Be well